willhines.net

So I did a commercial. I still am not sure if it will be shown anywhere other than channel 403 in upper Westchester County anytime before midnight, or how it will look if it is shown. But filming it was fun, we got paid a little, and I got to wear a ridiculous gold chain.

It was for a real estate company, and the basic idea is that they show a slimy real estate agent sizing up the house and thinking of how much he’s going to rip off the client in order to make a high commission. Then the good guy real estate agent comes in and treats the customer properly. The director cast me as the slimy real estate agent, which surprised me since I NEVER get cast as the wacky role. When it comes to being cast, I figure I’ve got low-energy reasonableness locked up — or maybe resigned single dad — but not cartoonishly oily salesman. But this director wanted Will Hines — which made me think that either he’s a true comic genius who sees my inner character acting potential — or else he’s a terrible director and he just screwed his commercial by casting Bob Newhart in his main role.

Then I saw the costume — a too-tight shirt with the top button missing; Standard Slimy Gold Chain, too-big aviator glasses; horribly ornate wing-tip shoes — and I realized that I did indeed fit this part because I looked pathetic in the clothes. We made my hair especially comb-overy, and I spent all of Sunday strutting around a house and looking over my sunglasses right in the camera with a self-satisfied smirk. Very fun. The woman who gets ripped off was played by a girl who was in my Level One class at UCBT. And the good guy real estate agent is a former stockbroker from Florida who is trying to make it as an actor — from Florida! He flew up to be in this commercial! I was wondering if it was worth driving to New Rochelle from Brooklyn! I admire his persistence. He also had a voice like an DJ for an AM oldies station.

Dave and Greg were here Saturday. I took them to a brunch place here in Williamsburg, then the Tenth Street Baths, as I am wont to do when people are in town (or anytime I can convince someone to go with me, actually). They liked it as most people do. Then we had beers at a few places, ate an enormous burger while we saw the Jets lose on TV, and then went to Terry Jinn’s new improv show The Project, where I was in a ten-minute set. It was kinda like I dragged my college friends around NYC to show them what sort of world I live in now, which I hope was interesting for them. It could have been like being tediously dragged through someone’s photo album for 8 hours — but I’m going to assume they actually liked it. I thought I would feel terribly more self-conscious about having them here, feeling like I’m a self-indulgent failure when they’re socially acceptable with their wives and 2 children each. But it wasn’t like that. Then I was hoping they’d get really jealous of my awesomely free and artistic lifestyle. I don’t think that happened either.

Terry’s Project is a great show with a nice friendly vibe. For some reason, I couldn’t get a grip this past Saturday. I was having trouble figuring out what was going on in my improv scenes, even/especially my own moves! Maybe I shouldn’t do improv after a day of soaking in steam rooms and drinking beer. Best part of the show was sitting next to Armando Diaz. He laughed heartily often, although once after he let go with a really big guffaw I was startled and looked over at him in surprise. He saw me looking and quietly mumbled “I guess that wasn’t so funny.” Funny!

No cats in the blog today! Except this paragraph. Shit!

Monkeydick is undergoing big changes. I think. Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

The number of typos in my posts is disturbing. I was smart once, really.