willhines.net

I put out six very full garbage bags last night and as I type this the garbagemen are throwing them in the truck. Or they WERE until one of the bags broke, scattering various items on the ground. Now they are going through my trash and picking out some things, I assume to keep (unless they are collecting evidence with which to write me a fine for Improper Disposal of A Shitload of VHS Tapes).

Among the things they are setting aside:

• Six decks of playing cards
• A lighter in the shape of a woman whose breasts light up when you flick it on (can’t remember where I had gotten that)
• Two sets of the Star Wars triology on VHS (I had three copies in various editions)
• A mini-dartboard
• And this is the strangest one: A DVD jewel case for The Man In The Thin White Suit starring Alec Guiness.

I hope they realize the DVD has been removed from that case, or else their Poker/Darts/Ealing Studios movie night is going to be ruined. I guess they can watch Star Wars instead. I should point out that I am assuming these two guys live together and do all their socializing together.

At this very moment, they have picked up my portable tape recorder and are listening to the cassette tape which was in there. I’m about 95% sure it’s a recording of me practicing the high-pitched voice of Baku, the magic seal from Dyna’s live anime Girl Crush show. Don’t fight over it, guys!