The Charlize Problem Solved by EW
by Will
This week, Entertainment Weekly explains “Why Charlize Theron Isn’t Afraid Anymore.” I’m glad, because I worried about Charlize. After all, the only weapons she has to fight life’s obstacles are wealth, beauty, fame and successful careers as a model and movie actress. A tough road.
This continues a long line of questions that desperately needed answering:
- How will Halle Berry succeed as a movie actress despite being completely beautiful?
- Will Albert Einstein ever achieve anything in the realm of physics despite having an incredibly high intelligence?
- How will professional basketball players deal with the challenge of being good at basketball?
- How will trees handle the daunting, near-daily task of photosynthesis?
- How will dogs ever manage to take their next shits?
Comments
Will…um…Albert Einstein is dead, Bro.
I am pretty sure that she had an abusive dad that her mom eventually killed. That isn’t so glamorous. (She also has bad skin, HORRORS)
There is a good Belinda Carlisle song that I think you should hear. It is called ‘Loneliness Game’. Also, yeah, her mom shot her dad. That’ll set you back a bit.
At first I thought you were cool, then I read these other comments and now I think you are kind of douche.
Talk about judging a book by its cover…
Despite what I assume is sarcasm in Fountain’s comment, I actually do feel like a jerk now. I mean, I think my “joke” still holds about the silliness of trying to portray a successful actor/actresses struggles with the problems of success — but a parent killing another parent? Eeeesh. I’m sorry, Charlize!
Don’t wuss out now. Back-tracking in response to what doesn’t sound sarcastic is what makes you a douche.
hahahahahahahaha