New Yorkers Don’t Like To Give Jump Starts

by Will

My car battery seems to not hold a charge. During the transit strike, I was content to let it sit on the side of the road — I didn’t want to fight the massive snarls of traffic in Manhattan anyway — but this morning, with the end of the strike, alternate side parking regulations were back in effect. That meant if my car wasn’t moved by 8:30am — it was parked illegally. THe ticket is somewhere between $55 and $85, I forget. Whatever amount it was, I didn’t want it.

Yesterday I was sick with mini-food poisoning so I didn’t want to deal with it. But I woke up at 7am today, figuring I could get a jump start from my neighborly New Yorkers. That was an inaccurate prediction on my part. I asked 7 people — feeling increasingly creepy with each request — and was told in each case something to the effect of “I’d love to, but I’m running late. Sorry.” Everyone was polite, which is something. And I was making an imposition which they are under no obligation to fufill. But really — a jump start takes about one minute. I had the cables ready and my hood propped. They wouldn’t even have to get out of their cars.

But it’s not their problem, right? I guess I understand that. I’ve given people jump starts before. But then again I’m not a selfish dick. So I called AAA at about 7:30. They said someone would be along in an hour. At 9am, I got my jump start. Took about one minute. I drove it to the other side of the street, parked it, and turned it off. Yes, I’ll need another jump start when I drive it home for Xmas tomorrow. But I just wanted to get in out of the cold.

Free car for anyone who wants it.