Will Hines Dot Net

1) Enter the address of your favorite web site here:
http://www.aharef.info/static/htmlgraph/

It represents the HTML tags used to build the page as a sort of fractal flower. It’ll give you a headache to figure exactly which part of your web page corresponds to which part of the resulting flower — but it DOES show you which web sites are simply constructed. Oddly satisfying to do. Try entering http://www.google.com vs. http://www.cnn.com, for example.

2) http://www.wefeelfine.org/index.html
This web site is an art project which scans current blog entries chosen at random across the internet and searching for the phrase “I feel” or “I am feeling”. It then keeps track of the next word following these phrases, and builds graphic presentations based on [...]

The number one recommended product for me to buy at amazon.com right now is Ordinary People.

I was talking with a former improv student of mine last night, and he mentioned he was going on vacation on July 14, to which I snapped “Bastille Day!” He asked, “Why is it that you know that July 14 is Bastille Day?” Here is the story of how I know:

A few weeks ago in the UCBT green room, Matt DeCoster said to me “May 9th has to be the most boring sounding date of them all — BY FAR.” I’m pretty sure this was the opening line of the conversation, and I don’t remember what spurred it. What I do remember is Matt, Dave Thunder, Rob Webber and I spent the next 20 minutes [...]

• Great interview with Alex Cox, the co-owner of Rocketship Comics, the coolest-sounding comics store ever. He talks about why they don’t have back issues, why their signings rarely feature superhero creators, the direct sales market and which books are surprisingly good sellers. Who knew that All-Star Superman was so reliable?
  http://www.graphiclanguage.blogspot.com/
• The Red Sox have a great infield defense this year for the first time since maybe forever.
• I’m halfway through The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. It takes a while to get going, but I’m digging it now.
• Can’t stop rewatching the “Franklin” episodes of Arrested Development. Only one episode behind on Lost. Have never seen 24. Haven’t watched The Sopranos since season 3, but that’s only because I cancelled cable. Old [...]

I am performing stand-up this Friday night. Please come see so you are not left out as I continue to become a national phenomenon.

Details:
Hot Tub
a wet jubilee
Hosted by Kurt Braunohler and Kristen Schaal
Fridays, 9:30 p.m.
The PIT
154 W. 29th St.
btw 6th and 7th Ave.
www.hottubvariety.com
Buy Tickets online here:

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/2985

In the Tub May 26th, 2006:
Kevin Allison (The State, Big Flux) will amaze your senses with hilarity. http://www.myspace.com/bigflux
Happy Hour will show a brand new video! http://www.happyhourclowns.com/
Will Hines will cream you with rollicking good-timeness. http://www.willhines.net/
Free To Be Friends’ Betty and Joan will edutain the f*** out of you.

I can’t defend this generalization, but I think it might be true that guys who work out a lot like to use the phrase “rule of thumb.”

Edited to add: there’s no hidden joke in that. I just think it’s a true correlation.

Tonight at around 12:20am, one of the customers of Pete’s Candy Store, the bar across the street from my house, stumbled out onto the sidewalk and started screaming “Ronald Reagan!” at the top of his lungs. He also gleefully kicked a garbage can into Lorimer St and then laughed enthusiastically. I think this was in reaction to someone — my downstairs neighbor, a very polite art director — leaning out a window and telling him to shut up. He had been drunk-talking (screaming) a story with his friends in front of the bar for some time.

I get disproportionately irritated with the loud drunk people in front of Pete’s. Their complete disregard that anyone might be bothered is amazing — sort [...]

Eliza and I went to Film Forum to watch a collection of short cartoons, presented under the banner Cartoons: No laughing matter. I usually hate when cartoons/comics take a defensive posture right from the get-go, but the Film Forum picks good stuff, so we went.

Twas not good.

Channel 102 and Channel 101 have spoiled me, and taught me — that there’s a way to cut your film down to five minutes and still have it be good. You don’t need to linger over your precious special effects, cartoons! I don’t need to hear that sad accordian music you have playing for another ten minutes while your stop-motion baby doll gets scared by growling wallpaper for 18 minutes. And [...]

We launched a new website for Us Magazine yesterday. My brain is still unfolding from having worked hard the past week. What have I learned, while doing this site? That people love Britney Spears. You’re allowed to leave comments on the different articles. Most get 10-20. All posts regarding Britney Spears get 100+ comments, easily. And many many many of them use the phrase “Ooops, she did it again.” When news broke that Britney was pregnant, our server was overwhelmed with traffic and we had to move the site to a machine three times as powerful.

Did the stand-up at Eliza and Glennis’ fundraiser. It went well. I mean, I guess. Who’s to say? I wish a mythic figure [...]

I’m doing a stand-up set this Saturday as part of a benefit for Eliza’s musical improv group I Eat Pandas! Benefit? Yeah, they’re going to San Francisco as part of the SF Improv Festival, and are trying to scrounge up cash for plane tickets. Isn’t it amazing that I was able to score a spot in the performance, while also being a boyfriend of one of the people booking the event? Such a weird coincidence!

But hey, I’m trying to break out the stand-up chops more and more. And this really is going to be a good show. Check out the lineup:

Jackie Clarke
Free To Be Friends’ Betty and Joan
Katina Corrao
Birch Harms
Jessica Delfino
Kate Tellers
Will Hines
Bobby [...]