Will Hines Dot Net

My brother found this book in an art museum in Hartford, Connecticut:
http://www.amazon.com/Stick-Great-Moments-History-More/dp/0307338592

Which breaks my heart, since it is perilously close to a series of stick figure drawings I’ve had on my wall for a few years:

It’s too simple an idea for it to be truly plagarized. I wish it was though! Because I feel saddened as if a great advertising jingle were stolen from my secret files! However, if the guy who wrote this book starts a low-rent kids show called “The Fun Team,” then I’m calling a lawyer.

Also, I don’t totally agree with his depiction of American Gothic, displayed on the front page of his book.

He uses too many lines. With stick figures, it’s all about complete reduction.

Plus mine’s funnier because they look more sad.

Matt DeCoster and I edited footage for a sure-to-be-frantic 102 show last night. Matt was one of the stars and I “directed.” In watching the footage, I was surprised to find myself quite comfortable with my balding head. However, I was dismayed by how both pasty and disgustingly hairy the back of my neck was. It looked like a birch tree covered in diseased fungus.

The show looks fun, though.

What are the greatest American rock bands ever?

I ask because of this: at my birthday party last night, someone (Erik Tanouye?) pointed out that when British music mags list the greatest British albums of all times, that Oasis’ What’s the Story Morning Glory is usually way up there, and often the number one. Several of us — myself, at least — was appalled at this notion. Not that WTSMG is a bad album — it’s a great one, but GREATEST BRITISH ALBUM ever? I spouted out the obvious: The BEATLES are from Britain — their best stuff should win over everyone, right? Then someone else pointed out that even if someone thought the Beatles were overrated (ridiculous, really, but okay) you could point to the Stones or The Who or Radiohead as having had greater albums that WTSMG. Then without thinking too much more, we remembered The Kinks, Led Zeppelin, or maybe even Elvis Costello’s Attractions. DeCoster, of course, hilariously rebutted several of these, but the point was clear: if you put an Oasis album as the number one British rock album you are either being willfully contrary or you are Noel Gallagher.

But then someone (Charlie Sanders?) raised an even more interesting questions: what are the greatest American bands of all time? And I’ll be damned if we had trouble coming up with 10 contenders at all, much less a list we all felt good about. We could name INDIVIDUALS up and down the charts: Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley, Ray Charles, Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix (maybe should be counted as British anyway, of course), Joni Mitchell (Canadian, I suppose). But bands? What are the great American bands?

You could make very very good arguments for many bands: R.E.M., Pearl Jam, The Grateful Dead, Nirvana, The Allman Brothers, Aerosmith, Talking Heads, The Ramones, The Supremes and even The Pixies. And yes, Eliza, even Journey. But for each of these, we were quick the find arguments AGAINST them. Aerosmith just copied the Stones! The Grateful Dead were a social phenomenon, not a collection of great music! Nirvana had only three albums! The Supremes: can you really count that as a band, as opposed to a brilliantly-assembled product?

That’s very different from the British list, where almost anyone would put on The Beatles, The Stones, The Who, The Kinks, Radiohead without much argument.

Is there something about American culture that promotes the individual, and something about British culture that promotes collectives? As a long-form improviser who believes in the power of group mind, I wanna know.

I put it to you, friends of mine: what are the greatest American rock bands ever? We said no rap or hip-hop to keep it simpler and because I don’t know as much about it.

Mine, after having thought about it. These aren’t my favorites, but what I think is representative: Nirvana, Talking Heads, R.E.M., Allman Brothers, Metallica, Aerosmith, Pearl Jam, The Ramones, The Velvet Underground and, and… shit, I don’t know… Fleetwood Mac?

[edited to add:] It’s pointed out in the comments that Fleetwood Mac is not an American band. Ok, so they’re out.

First and less important point: I received in the mail yesterday a CD with the original version of “I Got My Mind Set On You” — which is “I Got My Mind Set On You (Parts 1 and 2) by James Ray. It’s a slower, funkier version that ends with a gospel choir chanting “It’s gonna take money, a whole lot of spending money.” It’s pretty cool. Come to my house and I’ll play it for you.

Also, I closed spitemag.com the website today. I was gonna do it January 1st, but I put it off because I had a lot of email stored up there. Then today the domain was suspended because I had to pay $200 for another year — and I just cancelled it. That’s just the website — my email will still work (I have whines|AT|spitemag.com redirecting to whines|AT|gmail.com).

I started spitemag.com in 1996 as a way to learn HTML and to get my writing jones out of my system. I re-read my old stuff and most of it seems embarrasingly clunky, especially considering I was 26. And even though I’m officially closing it now, we haven’t written anything since the Red Sox won the world series, and nothing on a regular basis for years before that.

But I loved it while I was doing it! Although in a way I could blame spitemag.com as the motivation for me to learn how to set up web sites, which is the skill that has caused me to work until midnight 3 days running (soon to be 4). So maybe I should have closed it ten years EARLIER.

It’s all archived here, for what it’s worth.