Verizon, the Faceless Beast, Did Finally Fix My Phone

by Will

This morning, a repairman from Verizon diagnosed what was wrong with my phone line, free of charge. It was a happy ending to my brief dystopian struggle with the mammoth phone beast Verizon. My dial tone went out about 3 months ago, but I’m so flummoxed by Physical Problems that I ignored it (my DSL worked, and I have a cell phone) and kept paying my phone bill anyway. Getting Screwed is often the path of least resistance.

When I finally decided to investigate, I found that Verizon, like so many companies, tries really hard to prevent you from talking to a human being. Instead, I filed a repair request on their website, got a call from a machine confirming my appointment and had no way to ask in advance some questions which MIGHT have let me fix things myself.

Actually, their web site offered instructions on testing the dial tone at your “NID” which is a box located outside most houses/apartment buildings. My building’s NID is located just above human height in the backyard of my landlady. So Monday night, I was standing on tiptoe on a wobbly concerte block, with a flashlight in one hand and a flathead screwdriver and telephone in the other, trying to see if I could get a dial tone there. My landlady was peering from her back door, nervously saying “I’ve never heard of what you’re doing.” After successfully disconnecting and then reconnecting phone service to my entire building, I gave up and ambled back inside where I swore at my broken phone jack for about 20 seconds. Each step of the “repair request” process asked “Did you test your NID” to which I would angrily click “Yes.”

But when a human being walked into my apartment, he diagnosed the problem in about 45 seconds.

If I save a bit of money, I’m just gonna cancel the whole thing and get a cable modem anyway.

Unrelated: I really like this comic strip. This particular one. I don’t read it normally:
http://www.asofterworld.com/