Will Hines Dot Net

The universe had an interesting way of telling me I’ve been eating like a fat pig. A few days ago at lunch, I bought a huge chocolate chip cookie at the deli downstairs from my office building. I love huge chocolate chip cookies. But I do feel a generous twinge of self-consciousness when I buy one at a corporate deli. It’s like buying a cup of yogurt and then following it up with an enormous candy cane.

Anyway, this doddering elderly woman in line behind me tapped my cookie and bleated “My six month old grandson loves cookies, but he’d take a whole week to eat that!” And then she looked at me for a response. My gut instinct (pun!) was that she was rudely pointing out to me and to everyone within earshot that my cookie purchase was unreasonable. Shame-faced, I glared back at her and said, with an unreasonably clipped tone of bile: “Well, it’s good that I’m the one who’s buying it, then.” Then I took my huge cookie and left.

In hindsight, I see she may have just been making small talk. I do need to eat better.