My Driver’s License Got Suspended

by Will

I got a letter a few weeks ago informing me that my driver’s license has been suspended retroactively to last May. This is because after I junked my car last February I never turned in my license plates. They sat in a drawer in my kitchen (with my instruction manuals and take-out menus) for well over a year. I have a self-destructive resentment of a) mailing things and b) the government ordering me to do things. Well, I showed them!

I’m normally a responsible person: I pay my taxes and credit cards, I vote, I’ve never argued with police officers. But there’s something about the inconvenience of the Department of Motor Vehicles that makes me resent them. At least once a day over the past year I’d think “I guess I should mail in those plates” but I never started to do it. I junked the car in February 2006. In May I bought padded envelopes to mail the plates. In September I looked up the address. Last month I mailed them in.

I have a friend who had a car in New York City and refused to pay parking tickets. He let them mount on the floor of his passenger seat — never even thinking of paying them. I remember thinking how pointless that was, but over the last year I experienced the same thing.

Maybe this is the start of a series of increasingly rebellious actions that will result in me leading a military coup against the New York State government! Or, more likely, I just won’t get a car until such a time as I’m not living in NYC.