willhines.net

Last night after stand-up, a guy in the audience told me I reminded him of some other comedian. He then proceeded to name every bald comedian I have ever heard of: “David Cross! No, wait, not him… Todd Barry! No, no… Dave Atell? Hmm, let me think…”

I don’t really mind, but I do forget that as I lose more and more hair that my lack of it becomes my defining physical characteristic. I become “the bald guy” the way that Hurley on Lost is “the fat guy” or the only black guy on a show is “the black guy.” (I was trying to come up with a specific example for that, but all I could think of was how Ernie Hudson was “the black Ghostbuster“). We humans do love to simplify, categorize and label, which does not offend me since it’s part of what makes humans able to work together. Centuries down the road, our species’ ability to logically group ideas will be what helps us win the Insect Wars, so I’m cool with it.

But for fun, I’m trying to think of what other attributes dominate our perceptions to the point where we reduce people to that one adjective. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• the fat guy
• the bald guy
• the tall guy
• the short dude
• the Harvard guy
• the girl
• the black guy
• the guy who has a black belt
• the computer guy

That’s all I got. Am I even close to right on this?

| Tags: aging, stand-up