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Courtesy of an Xmas gift from Hines Bro Brian, I had a royal shave at an Art of Shaving store last Friday.

I’ve had a straight razor shave once before: when I returned from Japan and had to go from the airport to the UCB Theatre to perform in Rob Lathan’s “one-man” show (also featuring myself and John Gemberling) — I had 2 hours to kill. To keep me from falling prey to jet lag, I had a shave at a barber shop. It works, although it is completely harrowing. I keep thinking of Sweeney Todd and how easily these people really could completely murder you with that unguarded super-sharp razor rubbing right near your jugular vein.

Anyway, my facial hair grows quickly enough that I could shave twice a day –Here’s me at 1pm having skipped one day.

The “royal shave”  consists of pre-shave oil, thick warm shaving cream, a “with the grain shave”, then more cream, then an “against-the-grain” shave, then post-shave ointment, then an after-shave mask. I would have had each of these stages photographed had I not been terrified of disturbing the barber while he was shaving. I did get him to take this one of me in the hot towel:

The towel was very hot.

A lot of those steps are unnecessary, but the overall experience is just being pampered. You’re there to have the full treatment, to feel like you’re at a spa without feeling like a girl. It was a very manly experience — during my shave I heard two other financi-a-douches getting shaves to celebrate “finishing our filing, dude!” They fit in well.

But I really loved it!  It felt great and was very fun. One slight hitch is that normally I shave in the shower, when my skin is very soft and warm — so I almost never cut myself. But the hot towel did not get my skin anywhere near as soft as it becomes in a shower, so the first pass of the shave felt VERY rough. I though I was gonna yelp or start crying or something. But I worried the financi-a-douches would have bullied me so I stayed strong. The second pass at shaving was very smooth. Somehow the pain made it all feel more substantial.

I did not get a good “after” shot — but here’s my barber.

Nice guy. He had an Eastern European accent which made him seem very old-world, which gave him a lot of credibility.

The shave was great! Good gift idea. Thank you Brian!

| Tags: brian, nyc, shaving