Will Hines Dot Net

I had to buy some wigs this week for a video at work, so I went to Lacey Wigs on west 39th. Way west, like close to the water. I always feel like I’m in the 1950s when I’m in that neighborhood. Old beautiful brick buildings still being used for warehouse storage as if a big brick building in Manhattan is no big deal so why not just use it for storage? The REAL Manhattan is over on Park Avenue — forget this area! I’m not articulating it well. Someone help me.

Also the elevators in all these building are amazingly, hilariously slow. Not as slow as the one in The Onion’s building — but close!

I finished a long comics series called Lucifer today that Kevin had recommended. It’s a spin-off of comics series The Sandman, which you may have seen lying around the shelves of various used-to-be-depressed girls and/or Will Hines over the years. Lucifer was very different than The Sandman, although similar in that lots of the stories had British characters casually explaining really obscure rituals to each other as they turn into trolls. “Oh this necklace? This is a POTLATCH. That’s a sort of gift that once received, is very hard to give up. Ask the old tree Yggrisil about those — he’ll have quite a tale to tell you. Just don’t ask him about music — he’s quite a snob, that immortal old tree.” That kind of thing. But I liked it! I sarcastically reduce it to a formula because I like it.

Lucifer is compulsively aware of its debt to The Sandman. Its series lasted 75 issues, the exact same number as The Sandman. It had its issue 50 drawn by P. Craig Russell, just like The Sandman. Which is better, you inevitably ask? I prefer The Sandman because it was sweeter and simpler. But you could argue the other way — Lucifer was more aggressive, and heightened insanely! I can’t believe copies of this book weren’t burned throughout the red states. Crazy stuff happens, like God showing up and then losing fights and people taking over for him and angels getting mean.

Although I bet that’s actually a cliche in fantasy/sci-fi: a story boldly has God admit he’s wrong and lose to the devil and the devil’s all smart and cool and better and doesn’t that make you think huh huh doesn’t it? It’s like stories about robots: each and every one of them has the robots take over. Even the first robot story ever.

Then I read the wikipedia entry on Lucifer and got creeped out because I was baptized Catholic and we are all scared of the devil. I even just added “comic” to the title of this post so that the devil doesn’t think I’m talking about him in my blog and comes to my apartment and makes me carry a boulder made of eyes for a thousand years.

This is a really good album.

I saw him circa 1983 at the Candlewood Playhouse with my mother and thought he was hilarious. His “7 dirty words” had turned into over 100 by then. Then I saw him around 1992 in Stamford, CT and thought he had regressed to just an angry man ranting about anti-abortion laws. But looking back I think that’s a better way to go then someone who just repeats the same jokes for his whole life.

So there’s been a rumor (with zero backing evidence) for a little while that Michelle Obama said “whitey” at a discussion at her and Barack’s church. It’s insane: there’s no evidence, and it’s only talked about at this point because it has been talked about. But yesterday at Mo Rocca 180 (where I work) we decided to “find” the video tape. And with Melle Powers playing the part of Michelle — here it is. I have a 2 second cameo of which I am disproportionately proud. And thanks to Erik Tanouye for the suggestion of using “Wide T.”

Here’s what you do: go download Firefox 3, then open a browser window and type “about:robots” and hit enter. You will see this:

That’s fun. Can someone tell me what the references are? I get the I, Robot one (“robots may not injure a human being…”) and the Battlestar Galactica one  (“and they have a plan.”)

Surfing for the answers (which I’ve found) led me to the Robot Hall of Fame, which includes both real and ficitonal robots. This is a good time, people!

This is M. Night Shyamalan Burger, a UCB Comedy Original we shot last night. It’s based on a sketch Charlie Sanders wrote up. Brandon Bassham got us a location last night, Bieber shot it then I edited it. A 24-hour turnaround from when Anthony King gave us the script. Pretty cool. This is Ray Munoz as M. Night — and he does a great job.

Bieber pointed out that it isn’t THAT far off from the American Express commercial M. Night did. I mean, we did a “Be Kind Rewind” version, but still.

My blog can’t handle its widescreen awesomeness.

The heat wave broke this very minute with a huge and powerful downpour. There must have been a concert in McCarren Pool up the street because there is a huge crush of teenagers and twentysomethings running down Lorimer St. to the subway, all shrieking in the rain. It’s like a low-budget horror movie, albiet one that ends with a lot of people cramming into Pete’s Candy Store across the street.

Your higher profile improvisers demand some pretty lavish perks.

I saw this guy on the E train, sort of a punk look on a guy who was in his 40s, I’d say. It reminded me of a Gilbert Hernandez comic (Girl Crazy) where there’s a quick scene in a town full of senior citizens all dressed in punk gear — piercings, tattoos, leather. I asked his persmission, and he seemed fine with it — then felt awkward so this was a rushed picture. He has a Joy Division shirt on that says “Love Will Tear Us Apart.”