Will Hines Dot Net

My calves were killing me by the time Obama took the stage. After the hassles of the Pepsi Center I figured there was no way I’d get into to Mile High Stadium. But after a long shuttle bus ride (Ted Koppel was on my bus) and the usual security checks, my credentials got me right onto the field for one-hour visits (which I could renew without difficulty). I was excited! Even a political non-believer like me wanted to see the first time a black American accepted the presidential nomination. And more than that, I just wanted to see Obama do what he’s best at: deliver a great speech.

I actually think he was a little bit off his game in the crowd-rousing department. He was more focused on making specific suggestions, since that seems to be what the main criticisms of him are (i’m guessing). But he is a ridiculously likable man.  And he was raised by simple country folk in Kansas just like Superman. On some gut level, I liked him and wanted to see him be my president. I’m not politically versed enough to pretend there’s any greater reason than that.

Lotsa fun political celeb-seeing. John Kerry walked right behind me, and Jesse Jackson was there with John Oliver right in tow. I loved Al Gore’s speech. And timid, wooden Barney Smith had the best line of the whole night “It’s time the government put Barney Smith ahead of Smith Barney.” Even the two bitchy-looking reporters right in front of me who were texting on their iPhones looked up and mouthed “Good line” to each other.

I totally forgot I was going to get to see Stevie Wonder until he walked out there, and that was worth waiting 3 hours in the sun for all by itself.

I held my camera, headphones and microphone the whole time in case I got inspired for some quick funny video but I didn’t really feel like joking. I started interviewing delegates to ask them each their personal story, and that was okay, but it felt too much like I was being a company man (for the Democrats) and stopped. So my arms were really sore by the end of the night, though it was worth it to feel like I was at least ready to do my job if necessary.

Race didn’t actually enter my mind during most of Obama’s speech. I was thinking more of how young he was, and how little he’d done. If elected, could he pull it off? When Clinton took office he’d spent his whole life in the Democratic party getting to know people, building connections. But my colleagues pointed out that Obama has pretty much been working in politics his whole life as well. Who else writes a memoir after law school but someone wanting public office? It reassured me that he’s not a rookie.

Still, at the end of his speech, I saw next to me an older black man in a wheelchair bawling.  That a reporter was taking his picture did not ruin it for me. There’s no question: Barack running for president changes everything. Attention black children of America: in addition to rapper, basketball star, comedian or charismatic drug dealer — your television is now telling you that you can quite reasonably picture yourself as President of The United States. It’s so insanely huge I can’t believe we all don’t talk about it every day.

If the opening few days of lesser politicians applauding themselves was crap, then this day of the DNC was something I could get behind: a gifted man making a shamelessly populist plea to a cynical nation — and at the same time shattering a racial barrier as if it had just been thin glass this whole time. I was thrilled to be there.

My favorite is his rating of Swimming With Sharks.

So when Bill Clinton spoke, I got it. A little. Despite his flaws, Bill Clinton gets me excited. I like his swagger and comfort while speaking, and his audacity to throw around a million statistics and still make it feel completely accessible. I believe, when listening to him, that he’s read every op-ed page in every newspaper and has Figured It Out. Intellectually, I have my doubts. But emotionally I just think “I would vote for this man today.”

Part of that was I watched his speech from the comparative comfort of the AOL workspace. Much of my grouchiness comes from having to be in the arena where each day the security is more and more restrictive (though polite). They started warning us around 2pm that they’d stop letting people in for Bill Clinton’s speech, and to get in earlier if you wanted to see it. My 30 minute time limit prohibited that, plus they stopped letting us stand in the aisles OR the floor so I’d have to constantly push through crowds.

I WAS in the hall when Hillary moved to nominate Barack by acclimation, and thought it was a surprising and cool moment. Two older black female delegates near me noticably did not stand for Hillary (though most of the hall did) until she said the words “Barack Obama.”

A lot of reporters started giggling when John Kerry started speaking. I heard the volume being turned down all throughout the tent.

It’s remarkable to see who truly has confidence when speaking. Bill Clinton, Barack — they make everyone else look like robots. Even Hillary, who I thought looked and sounded great and so much better than I remember her coming across in the 90s, isn’t on their level. Dare I say that even Ted Kennedy, despite the love the room had for him, was not as smooth?

Since everyone in the press area has their TVs set to different channels, the speeches are all out of sync. The booth next to ours has a direct feed, so I hear it there first, then I hear our MSNBC broadcast, and finally the CBS broadcast on the other side comes through.

Mo and I went to an oxygen bar in one of the media tents — fun. We had hoped to do what I think would be a hilarious piece comparing the convention to a comic book convention, but Mo got busy with a last-minute NPR gig. Just as well as my camera started acting up — I lost a bunch of footage I had shot of delegates saying trivia to the camera. I’m gonna try and clean the heads today, wish me luck.

I also got 8 hours of sleep last night for the first time since before I went to Toronto two weeks ago — maybe the first time all summer!

Today is going to be insane. I’m going to try to get to Invesco Field. If by some miracle I can hear Barack speak live, this will all be worth it.

A hilarious article on grouchy and lazy reporters at the DNC.

No way Mo or I could get into to see Hillary’s speech last night. The fire marshall closed the doors to the arena about 20 minutes before she entered — “it’s cheek to jowl in there” said a security guard.  People crowded around the monitors in the hallways — definitely the most exciting and energized moment of the convention so far.

Except for me — since I have trouble wrapping my head how ANY of this convention (outside of Barack’s speech) is important in any way at all. Is there ever another time when so many reporters gather to cover an event whose ending (the nomination of the candidate) has been decided for months? Would Peter Gammons go to Fenway Park if the ending score was decided — or if only the Red Sox showed up with no opponent and threw the ball around for screaming fans? Even this Hillary speech — she LOST, right? Even if some delegates cast their vote for her in symbolic protest tonight — it’s just symbolic and will have no bearing on who deals with Vladimir Putin next February, yes?

I guess it’s like a Jane Austen novel — more about protocol and etiquette than actual result. Oooh, look at who was “allowed” to introduce Hillary! Eeek, see how Bill won’t break a smile during Michelle’s speech? The GALL! Did you SEE where they sat the New Hampshire delegation! Good heavens! What WILL they say in the parlor?

What amazes me is how many journalists buy into it! Even in my three years working for weekly newspapers, my editors hammered into my head “get the REAL story, not the story the politicians WANT you to say.” But as the Reuters shuttle got back to the hotel at about 10:45pm and one guy was saying he had to be back on site first thing in the morning to film Bill Clinton’s microphone test. I think everyone is just excited to be put up in hotels and hang out with their friends.

I defy anyone to point to any one speech at this convention which has delivered even one piece of actual news. My daily headline: “Democrats to Other Democrats: Democrats are Awesome.” It’s a four-day long red carpet special for a movie that doesn’t start until January 20.

Moving around the arena was better yesterday with one exception: “Is that a wireless mike? Are you registered to use that?” said a balding and gleeful man with an overbite. “Might interfere with the radio guys.”  He handed me a bundle of XLR cable and for the rest of the night I was tethered to Mo Rocca’s microphone as we walked through the hallways trying not to trip people. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn today that all reporters were required to carry around a suitcase of barbells when on the floor of the arena.

The interviews with Mo have been really fun. He knows everyone, and lots of people are excited to talk with him. Also, where I react to everything with growing bewilderment and frustration he just laughs it off. When the Microphone Police checked with HIM to see if his mike was wireless (it was — I had spitefully unplugged the XLR cable) — he apologized and everyone laughed and they complimented his lime pants. He’s the kind of guy that can spot from across the room former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Henry Cisneros. The only person I recognized that he didn’t was Pras from the Fugees, and I was guessing.

Even my pop culture knowledge is at least ten years behind. We talked with Dana Delaney, who was funny and nice — and all I could think was that she did the voice of Lois Lane and starred in my favorite episode of Moonlighting.

Since Mo’s schedule is busy, each day I’m interviewing delegates myself to have a backup piece in case all I can get from him is an intro. Interview delegates is a mixed bag. They’re mostly polite and happy folks — but they are so annoyingly “on message” that it’s almost impossible to have an actual conversation with them. I asked a guy from California why he wanted to be a delegate and he said “Because I support a Democratic party united behind Barack Obama.”  For fun I tried to ask some people who they thought the sexiest delegation was. “You can’t pick your own state, that’s biased, ” I warned. But each person just said “Oh, no, those kind of questions aren’t for me. I pass” or something. Instead I asked them to name their favorite Democrat who isn’t being talked about and nearly half of them named a governor or senator from their state.

The Reuters shuttle gave me a ride home Tuesday night and back again this morning, and everyone was as polite as can be. Thank you, Reuters!  I take back my disdain.

I walked into the Pepsi Center and heard Ted Kennedy’s speech by complete accident. I was going in, hoping to get members of the Delaware delegation say trivia facts to the camera, but then realized I couldn’t even get close to the floor. So I stood at the top of the arena and watched the place explode with affection for Ted. I’m not really into politics at all, but it’s hard to not get caught up in the emotion when you’re right in the middle of it.

I’m here with AOL News to film pieces with Mo. At least one a day — we’ll see what we get. In the Pepsi Center itself, it seemed to be at least crowded and at worst completely gridlocked with press people. There seems to be an unwritten rule to always move — there doesn’t seem to be any place to just stand, much less sit. You shoot and move, shoot and move. Exciting, though difficult.

My access to the floor is also limited — I can only go for 30 minutes, then I have to report back to a press station and re-set my time. You have to just constantly endure people trying to kick you out of places and telling you you have to move, now.

I got to my hotel in Denver at about 1:30pm Monday — a few days after the rest of the AOL team arrived. There was a mix-up so my credentials were not waiting for me at the hotel, so I couldn’t ride the official shuttle. A convention volunteer at the hotel (they seem to be everywhere in the Denver area) drove me to a city bus stop, and I rode the bus to the middle of Denver and then walked about 8 blocks to the perimeter of the Pepsi Center where a Secret Service man told me someone would have to get me credentials or I couldn’t get it. An AOL News colleague walked it over (about 5 blocks?) and I got in.

There weren’t many protesters in the designated “protest area” when I was there. One guy with a picture of an aborted fetus was telling people they shouldn’t for Obama or McCain. And a drunk sunburned bearded guy in a denim jacket was telling people to vote for Jesus.

Mo and I shot some quick footage during Michelle Obama’s speech and then I edited it from 11:30pm-1am Denver time — which unfortunately for me was until 3am my time. I took an ice-cold shower to wake up while the file exported. Everyone here seems to be running on no sleep. The lack of healthy food must contribute to that — everyone is living on soda and fast food.

Saw Dan Rather walking around the floor — everyone was gushing over him. Saw The Daily Show people doing stuff. Normal people refer to all comedy as “skits.” I heard a few people say “Did you see the Daily Show? They’re doing a skit over at the entrance about this being a green convention! Really hilarious skit!”

This morning (day 2) I woke to realize that a shuttle I counted on using was for Reuters people only. I asked some other reporters leaving the hotel (also from Reuters — guess they didn’t want their shuttle) for a ride. They were nice enough to say yes. They were also classic snarky, sarcastic, grumbly journalists that I worshipped when I was in college and now find a bit tiring. When they found out I was from AOL they basically made fun of it for most of the ride — they’d say “You’ve got mail!” to each other and laugh. They were sparing me another city bus ride so I just sat there. Still, if you’re constantly above EVERYTHING – are you really thinking about anything? And are you really making an awesomely hilarious observation about AOL to simply repeat its annoying catchphrase? Whatever, I’m sure I’d love them if I worked with them.

I saw Tom Harkin speak — always liked him. He was running to be Democratic candidate in 1992. He still seemed more confident and charismatic than a lot of the other speakers — maybe it’s just because I already liked him. I offer opinions like this one with full disclosure that I do not know what is going on.

Rocco and I are in Toronto shooting another round of commercials for BrightHouse Networks. We had done the first round in March. Tonight, we walked along College St. and had pizza at Vivoli’s, which was good.

Speaking of pizza, 37 signals has a great post about Domenico DeMarco, who’s made pretty much every pizza in his restaurant by hand for the past 40 years. Ptolemy introduced this place to me. It’s way out in Brooklyn — you have to take the subway to a bus to get there — and once you’re there, you wait an hour at least for this amazingly slow-moving man to make your pizza. But the whole time you’re watching him do it, you wonder about what it would be like to pay so much attention to one thing, and do it well – to lose yourself in it, again and again, each day for decades. I get bored walking across my apartment, but this man can still focus on his job after 40 years.

Here’s a video from the article that shows him at work:

Speaking of Toronto, Brian and I and maybe Kevin pronounce Toronto as “Taranto.” This is because when Brian was in college and Pat Burns was coach of the Bruins, he and his roommate would make fun of Pat’s hopeless expression as the Bruins lost game after game. They imagined that his every halftime speech implored the team to win so he would not have to move to “Taranto” to get a job. I think they also imagined he said job like “jaab” and that his only curse word was “crap.” There was no reason that Toronto was a bad place for Pat Burns, that he would have to move there, that he would say “crap” to the exclusion of all other curses, or that a Boston accent would pronounce Toronto like “Taranto”, and in fact their impersonation sounded nothing like Pat Burns. Nonethless, eight years later and we all still say it because running gags are fun.

Snapple Cap Facts. Written by Sean Clements and first performed by Stone Cold Fox at Maude Night. Starring Joe Spellman, Sean, Ben Rodgers (taking over for Scott Courlander who was in a play), Fran Gillespie. Directed by me, shot by Todd Bieber and edited by Carmen Angelica. One of my favorite sketches ever!

For you Snapple sketch completists, watch the original live performance below. Although he’s also great in the video, this live performance lets you see Spellman take over even more. Maude Night = good.

I might have that quote a bit wrong, but it is my favorite line in a very cool and fun eleven-minute film called “Force 1 TD” which was on Wholpin. It’s about three kids from the Bronx trying to get tiny all white sneakers for the seeing-eye horse of their friend. Starts a bit slow, but it builds into a brilliant ending. Silvija, watch it!

Gethard tells me he couldn’t quite get into the “Assassination” film I linked to in my last post. Fine. Here’s one for Gethard. A six-minute lo-fi stunt masterpiece called “Lucky.” On the Wholphin DVDs, the menus are short films. You just have to let the menu sit there and it goes into a film. This is one of them, so there’s a menu up for a few seconds at the top. My copy of this has a few glitches, but pay them no mind. Watch this Gethard, and imagine filming it.

I imagine I’ll have to take these films down relatively soon.

I got my latest issue of Wholphin this week (a DVD of short films chosen by the McSweeney’s nerds) and the last film on it is called “On The Assassination of The President” by Adam Keker, and it is awesome. Even thought it’s mostly just narration and stills and is just six minutes long — it’s a conspiracy theory taken to the millionth degree and it scared the hell out of Tabitha and I. It was made by a documentary filmmaker in San Francisco with an awesome sense of humor and of creepiness.

I think it’s the low hum in the background.

Get Wholphin and watch it! (Or watch it here.)

Terry and Ptolemy - photo by Keith Huang

During the Del Close Marathon, I ran over to Kenny’s Castaway to watch and perform in Terry Jinn’s Enormous Television 7. The comedians pick the songs, and Terry and his band perform them. It is a blast — supportive and enthusiastic audience, good performances, and smiles all around.

I performed “Hey Jealousy” by The Gin Blossoms.

If you don't expect too much from me - photo by Keith Huang

Known mostly as a throw-away, that song is one I love truly. Always have! Joe Wengert, to this day, will text me whenever he hears it being played in public to make fun of it and me for my devotion to it. But it’s great! Simple and sad and hopeful. And I love the line “You can trust me not to think, and not to sleep around.” What an odd promise! Also, the story of its songwriter Doug Hopkins (kicked out of the band for being a drunk, only to see his song become a top 40 hit, after which he killed himself in rehab) makes the song ten times more fascinating.

And that is why ETV is more than just a karoke show. The singers, most of whom are not great singers, are picking songs they truly love — and they’re good enough performers to let that happiness come out. Comedy sometimes encourages you to be a dick, but in the end audiences like to watch people be happy and be in love. Right? Joy is contagious.

Honestly, everyone in the show was great. But my favorite was Jazzy James Eason, who sported some kinda extra-long shiny suit for his performance of Purple Rain.

Just trying to be some kinda friend - photo by Keith Huang

Don’t let anyone tell you James Eason is not a great showman. Dyna and I went to ETV 2.5 years ago and watched James kick the shit out of  “Another Brick In The Wall” — while reading the lyrics off of a music stand. I also think James might not be able to sing. But I never notice because he sells that shit. Tabitha did not take out her camera until James strutted out in that suit but then she was camera crazy from that point forward.

If I list anyone else, I’ll end up leaving people out. But I almost never feel happier than after the ETV show, and I think everyone else involved feels the same way. Happy Birthday, Terry!

Keith Huang took great pictures of the night.

Tony Carnevale – The Boys Are Back In Town (Thin Lizzy)
Ari Scott – You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
Mark Lee – White Room (Cream)
Shannon Manning – I’m Not Like Everybody Else (The Kinks)
Ernie Privetera – Epic (Faith No More)
James Eason – Purple Rain (Prince)
Will Hines – Hey Jealousy (Gin Blossoms)
Jessica Allen – Don’t You Want Somebody to Love (Jefferson Airplane) [with slight mash-up with Jumpin' Jack Flash (Rolling Stones)]
Tara Copeland – Sister Christian (Night Ranger)
Kirk Damato – Surrender (Cheap Trick)

INTERMISSION

Marc Liepis – Owner of a Lonely Heart (Yes)
Maddy Mako – Ragdoll (Aerosmith)
Shelly Stover – Anyway You Want It (Journey)
Brian Fountain – What You Are (Audioslave)
Jen MacNeil – Video Killed The Radio Star (The Buggles)
Ernie Privetera – Subdivisions (Rush)
Kate Hess – In State (Kathleen Edwards)
Ptolemy Slocum – New York I Love You (LCD Soundsystem)
Andrew Secunda – Thunder Road (Bruce Springsteen)
Dan Goodman – Won’t Get Fooled Again (The Who)
Terry Jinn – While My Guitar Gently Weeps (The Beatles)