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No way Mo or I could get into to see Hillary’s speech last night. The fire marshall closed the doors to the arena about 20 minutes before she entered — “it’s cheek to jowl in there” said a security guard.  People crowded around the monitors in the hallways — definitely the most exciting and energized moment of the convention so far.

Except for me — since I have trouble wrapping my head how ANY of this convention (outside of Barack’s speech) is important in any way at all. Is there ever another time when so many reporters gather to cover an event whose ending (the nomination of the candidate) has been decided for months? Would Peter Gammons go to Fenway Park if the ending score was decided — or if only the Red Sox showed up with no opponent and threw the ball around for screaming fans? Even this Hillary speech — she LOST, right? Even if some delegates cast their vote for her in symbolic protest tonight — it’s just symbolic and will have no bearing on who deals with Vladimir Putin next February, yes?

I guess it’s like a Jane Austen novel — more about protocol and etiquette than actual result. Oooh, look at who was “allowed” to introduce Hillary! Eeek, see how Bill won’t break a smile during Michelle’s speech? The GALL! Did you SEE where they sat the New Hampshire delegation! Good heavens! What WILL they say in the parlor?

What amazes me is how many journalists buy into it! Even in my three years working for weekly newspapers, my editors hammered into my head “get the REAL story, not the story the politicians WANT you to say.” But as the Reuters shuttle got back to the hotel at about 10:45pm and one guy was saying he had to be back on site first thing in the morning to film Bill Clinton’s microphone test. I think everyone is just excited to be put up in hotels and hang out with their friends.

I defy anyone to point to any one speech at this convention which has delivered even one piece of actual news. My daily headline: “Democrats to Other Democrats: Democrats are Awesome.” It’s a four-day long red carpet special for a movie that doesn’t start until January 20.

Moving around the arena was better yesterday with one exception: “Is that a wireless mike? Are you registered to use that?” said a balding and gleeful man with an overbite. “Might interfere with the radio guys.”  He handed me a bundle of XLR cable and for the rest of the night I was tethered to Mo Rocca’s microphone as we walked through the hallways trying not to trip people. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn today that all reporters were required to carry around a suitcase of barbells when on the floor of the arena.

The interviews with Mo have been really fun. He knows everyone, and lots of people are excited to talk with him. Also, where I react to everything with growing bewilderment and frustration he just laughs it off. When the Microphone Police checked with HIM to see if his mike was wireless (it was — I had spitefully unplugged the XLR cable) — he apologized and everyone laughed and they complimented his lime pants. He’s the kind of guy that can spot from across the room former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Henry Cisneros. The only person I recognized that he didn’t was Pras from the Fugees, and I was guessing.

Even my pop culture knowledge is at least ten years behind. We talked with Dana Delaney, who was funny and nice — and all I could think was that she did the voice of Lois Lane and starred in my favorite episode of Moonlighting.

Since Mo’s schedule is busy, each day I’m interviewing delegates myself to have a backup piece in case all I can get from him is an intro. Interview delegates is a mixed bag. They’re mostly polite and happy folks — but they are so annoyingly “on message” that it’s almost impossible to have an actual conversation with them. I asked a guy from California why he wanted to be a delegate and he said “Because I support a Democratic party united behind Barack Obama.”  For fun I tried to ask some people who they thought the sexiest delegation was. “You can’t pick your own state, that’s biased, ” I warned. But each person just said “Oh, no, those kind of questions aren’t for me. I pass” or something. Instead I asked them to name their favorite Democrat who isn’t being talked about and nearly half of them named a governor or senator from their state.

The Reuters shuttle gave me a ride home Tuesday night and back again this morning, and everyone was as polite as can be. Thank you, Reuters!  I take back my disdain.

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