Will Hines Dot Net

Louis C.K. on taking technology for granted. This routine is so funny that just someone else summarizing it for me made me laugh. While you’re at it check out this old forty second clip he made that’s on Funny Or Die which is also the best thing ever.

In other news, Rob Lathan is kinda viral. Dry Hump the Vote got on the front page of Digg last night, and then, weirdly, was also featured on some tv show called Around the Net on G4? I think it’s a TV show. G4? What’s that? At any rate, at about 3:30 you can see a studio audience react to “stand-up comedian and Internet auter Rob Lathan” talk about dry humping the vote (right after clips of a near-incoherent Bill Cosby).

Dry Hump the Vote. Written/starring Rob. Directed by me. Thanks to Damian Chadwick for the logo.

A few things:

• Rob and I have worked on this video for 14 years.
• Any video that’s just jump cutting someone listing a bunch of silly things; I’m down for it.
• I shot it in (fake) 16:9, but tried to export it 4:3 — a process that resulted in me uploading the video 6 times to FunnyOrDie. UCBComedy and YouTube handled the first try no problem though!

Cat in a bag

Right?

Figurative Language Bomb. A UCBComedy-NY original. Written by Alex Kane. Directed by Anthony King. Starring Charlie Sanders, Will Storie and voiceover by Lennon Parham. Nate Smith shot/edited it.

Among other things, the best use of the word “synecdoche” you will see in a comedy video this year.

I have the political sense of a stone, but I know this: John McCain’s speech last night at the Al Smith Memorial dinner was one of the funniest speeches I’ve heard a prominent politician give. He made a Zoroaster joke! (5:28) That is amazing! Zoroaster jokes are guaranteed entry into the Will Hines Wants To Hang Out With You list. It’s not a coveted list, but it’s there. Though his best line is where he was digging Chris Matthews’ admiration of Obama: “It’s gonna be a long night at MSNBC if I manage to pull this thing off.” (6:30)

Watch Part 2 where he introduces Barack, I laughed out loud which I think I have never done at a politician’s joke.

Barack was good too. Not nearly as funny, which I know doesn’t matter. Wait, does it? Anyway.

I’ve never heard of the Al Smith Memorial Dinner, but I can’t believe such an institution exists where two candidates can make fun of themselves just weeks before the election with each other in the same room!

Edited to add: Obama’s Superman joke was pretty awesome. Also his joke about his middle name. Whoops! And his awesome dig at McCain “Tough primary you had there, John.” That’s good. Okay, they’re both funny. But McCain wins for Zoroaster.

Dyna’s Mad Men illustrations continue their steady takeover of the internet. Today she’s in The Comics Journal’s blog Journalista!, which was linking to the blog Drawn!

…Which made me look through Drawn! Which is super-cool! Do you all know about this site? Check out these typewriter robots!

I worked for The Acorn Press (now Hersam Acorn) for two years after college as a reporter. Often we had to take photos for our articles. None of us had any real photo experience. But when Jack Sanders, executive editor then and now, handed me a camera he said “Get close. People like to see faces.”

And he was right! Almost all amateur photographs are too far away from the people. Moving a few steps closer makes a big difference. But now I am always a jerk when people take pictures. “Can you step closer?” I say. They move a quarter of an inch closer. “No, more — way more.” My family members groan. But it makes it better! See above? Forget that Seth had his eyes closed, you can see that it’s better to be closer. Just frame the faces, and don’t worry about losing the background or even people’s bodies. You’ll have enough in there if you crop right to edges of the faces.

At the reunion Friday my friend’s wife took these first two photos, and then I kept running back to her to take the pictures because she already knew I was crazy and would stand close for most pictures. She was tolerant.

Please everyone do this always forever. Thanks.

George Ferencz (farthest left in the photo above) was the first person I saw at my 20th high school reunion, thank God. He was my first friend in Connecticut when my family moved here when I was eight, so it was fitting to me that he was the person I saw at the reunion. To my surprise, the entire reunion was fun. I don’t look back that fondly on high school. Everyone was kind of a jerk. *I* was kind of a jerk. My mother died halfway through. Girls paid attention to jerk guys. Guys paid attention to jerk girls. Lots of meaningless rules. A horrible time!

But even *I* enjoyed the reunion! There’s something satisfying about seeing all these people that used to swarm around. It was fascinating and everyone was nice. Everyone looked older but not horribly so, just normally so. I’m telling you, self-proclaimed outsiders — if you go, you’ll like it.

The DJ played mostly music from 1985-1988 which I still say is the worst period for top 40 music in the history of the human race, except for Purple Rain which was great, and I think that actually was 1983. So no exceptions. The theme song for our prom was “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life” not out of irony or nostalgia but because it was the current #1 song. Anyway, at the reunion the DJ was trying to get the crowd pumped up except everyone was a) old and b) more interested in talking with each other. So he’d say something like “Let me ask you ladies — which of you had big hair back in high school?” No response. “No one?” No response. Then a muddled “Okay” and more music. It was hilarious. Not his fault! Just funny.

One guy who I did not recognize came up to me and said “Will Hines! Man, have I been googling YOU!” which is a hilarious way to start any conversation, especially with someone who does not recognize you.

Happy John and Sean Lennon Birthday.

I love the dude at 4:12 — “When are the Beatles getting back together?” “Tomorrow!”

George Harrison visiting Lennon’s mansion in England and talking about Beatle Ed is fun, too.

Evil Twin Standoff – Written by Guy Patton. Directed by Brandon Bassham. Shot/edited by Pete Schultz. Starring Rob Lathan, Andree Vermeulen, Brian Barrett. A UCBT-NY original.