Will Hines Dot Net

Enormous Television 7.5 tonight at Kenny’s Castaways. 8pm. $5. See a bunch of comedy people deliver their favorite tunes backed the legitimately good ETV band. I will be channeling the gentleman to the right in the picture above.

• The IMDB lets you type in two movies and it will tell you who worked on both. It’s called a “common people” search. I used it to see who was both in Twentieth Century and His Girl Friday (2 actors, the director plus some crew).
• This post on bad apples in a group environment, inspired by a This American Life episode, will make you wonder if YOU are the bad apple. Though if you’re even worried about it, I bet you’re not.
• I liked Sean McCarthy’s essay about the appeal and problems of Tyler Perry’s “comedies.” The quotes from an extended interview about Perry’s grind-em-out workday were illuminating and sort of depressing.

When I say “fun things” I mean “interesting.”

Today is my last day at AOL, where I’ve been for two years. I’ve been very lucky while I’m here to gain valuable video production experience while working with fun, smart laid-back people. And I got to work with Mo Rocca, who has just always been a funny, hard-working, easy-to-get-along with guy. We put together an indulgently long best-of Mo Rocca 180 montage from the past two years of videos, which I present below.

It’s more for us — so a lot of the moments don’t make sense on their own, but you can certainly tell that we tried a lot of different pieces and had a great time. Several UCBers show up in there including: Silvija Ozols, Brian Barrett, Fran Gillespie, Eddie Dunn and Rob Lathan. Also Melle Powers who I met through people at UCBT.

Monday I start full-time at UCBT as a sort of vice-principal of the schools, and also hopefully getting some videos done. I’m excited for that too.

Doing a stand-up set at 7pm tonight (Friday Feb. 20) at Ochi’s Lounge (353 W 14th St, at Ninth Ave, basement of Comix) courtesy of my funny friend Ritch Duncan. Also appearing: Vinny Fallon, Kevin Maher, Alison Castillo, Jeff James and Hannibal Burress. These are some funny people! How the hell did I get in this lineup? Answer: I am friends with the host. Sure, I’m all right at the jokes but being friends with the host speeds up the booking process. My long-term plan for comedic success is to personally befriend everyone in America, one at a time.

Ritch Duncan is hilarious. I forget how I initially met him, but I became friends with him via Brian Finkelstein when Brian was hosting a stand-up show at the R bar, ridiculously located directly underneath the BQE off the third stop into Brooklyn on the L train. It’s a good bar, but I can’t believe anyone ever found the place. Brian hosted that mike and would always close the show by announcing his age and then confirming that he was at that moment standing beneath the BQE. Carter Edwards would be the only one to laugh at my jokes. Ritch was the only one who knew what he was doing. Then afterwards, we would all get drunk and sing along with the Pixies. That actually only happened once but it was my favorite night. Ritch and I would commiserate/celebrate about the Red Sox and then make sweet sweet love. And now I am doing his show!

A dustier memory is from when I first moved to NYC in 1996. I’d go to a now-demolished bar called Rebar (at 8th ave. and 16th) and watch the monday night open mike, generally too terrified to sign up. Ritch was there, as was Vinny Fallon (also performing at this show) and a bunch of other people I still run into, even though they have no idea who I am. A good way to simultaneously flatter people and creep them out is to quote a joke to them you saw them do at an open mike 11 years prior. I did the Rebar open mike once, and at this Ochi’s show I am still using a joke from that set, because I don’t like to rush new material.

Now I will list other people I remember seeing at those Rebar open mikes, because I like confusing search results if these people Google themselves: Joe Mortimer (host), Chris Regan, Dan Cowan, Liam McEneany, Leo Allen, Andy Blitz, Peg O’Neill, Terry Someone, Johnny Spanish, a guy who did mostly gun noises that I think was Josh someone (Spiers?), Jon Goldblatt, a nervous substitute teacher from Brooklyn that I thought was hilarious and whose name I’ve now forgotten (Steve Nichols?). I was new to the city and this mike was goddamn impressive! Still, stand-up weirded me out so I did improv for the next decade instead.

Long post for a plug!

Got to sit in on the “Flophouse” a podcast a few of my friends (Elliott Kalan, Dan McCoy) do where they watch a probably-terrible movie and then review it. This session we watched “Swing Vote,” the Kevin Costner movie where the presidential election comes down to the vote of one man.

The movie was a disconcerting combination of professionally produced and lit while also flat and untrue at almost every turn. Strange exceptions: the fake political ads the candidates engineer just for Costner’s character were hilarious (I guess anyone can do a political ad parody?) and some moments where you meet Costner’s ex-wife were genuinely moving.

But in the podcast: we veer way off course and mimic Paul Schrader and make up fake Jeopardy categories for well over three minutes!

I met Elliott in a sketch class five years ago and Dan while shooting a video at AOL two years ago. Knowing people in this town is easy — just live here for 16 years and it all falls in your lap.

Watched, recently: Touch of Evil, Swing Vote, A Scanner Darkly, Amadeus, Fitzcarraldo, BSG, some 30 Rock, some SNL, an episode of Gossip Girl.

Read (books): more of Demonology by Ricky Moody;

Read (comics): Comics: Acme Novelty 16, 17, 18, 19 by Chris Ware; Hey Wait by Jason; old John Byrne FF stuff; Walking Dead.

I want a Kindle just to look at one but I do not read enough to justify it in any way.

Listened to: Vampire Weekend, The Blow, Yo La Tengo and a live Freedy Johnston album recently. And that song “American Boy” by Estelle and Kanye West a bunch.

I gave notice at AOL. Mo’s contract ended and 2+ years felt like enough. I’m going to be an assistant to the academic supervisor at UCBT, and do some programming and further destroy my life with a scattershot of creative priorities.

I did stand-up at Comic-Con last weekend and told my best joke, which fortunately involves the Hulk. I did stand-up last night and mispronounced both “nuclear” and “Rihanna.”

Yep!

Oh, I wish I did this! A supposed intro to a 70s tv show. The music and Ben Rodgers’ glasses are almost worth it all by themselves. Then there’s a magician.

Appel is in town for a week and gets this together! APPEL!!!!!!!

(This video is starring Kevin Hines).

Blowjob Documentary/Roadshow. Love the trumpet score and Jon Golbe’s white chest hair.

If its one thing the internet needs, it’s MORE SUPERHERO BASED SKETCHES. So here’s one. Post-Crisis Depression is Real – made in an absurdly short amount of time on Monday for the Defenders of Stan finale last night at Channel 101:NY. Thanks to Dyna for the costume stuff. Idea stolen in a barely recognizable form from an issue of Astro City.

See Dyna and Mitch’s Superlawyers One and Superlawyers Two

Say what you want about Pitchfork and its pretentiousness and its over-compounding genres (emogrindmumblecorerockdisco) — they’ve got the balls to lay down boundaries and declare that popular music is telling a story. Maybe not the story that you, the discerning and picky reader sees, but a clear story. A confident narrator makes for a good tale, right?

So when brother Brian got me the Pitchfork 500 book for Christmas, I was excited. I love lists, blurbs, shorthand histories and learning about pop songs. I diligently carved through the book. I’d read the blurb, listen to the song — one at a time. It took me a month. I didn’t skip any, even the interminable 10 minute electronica bullshit that bored me consistently.

The list wasn’t built for fun, primarily. It tells a story — which means some songs are there because they are IMPORTANT. Like this: The first five songs are:

• David Bowie – Heroes
• Iggy Pop – The Passenger
• Lou Reed – Street Hassle
• Kraftwerk – Trans-Europe Express
• Brian Eno – 1/1

Which lay the seeds for the rest of the list. There’s seeds of hip-hop, disco, ambient and whatever you call music that still has actual guitars and words in those five songs. Or a better way to put it is: if you accept that there are the seeds of those things in these five songs, then the rest of the list will reward you with recognizable callbacks and descendants that make it feel like a story that was written. I liked it. Here are some songs –mostly of the jangly British variety — I hadn’t heard of before that I enjoyed:

30. “Outdoor Miner” – Wire (1:43)

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90. “Happy Birthday” – Altered Images (3:00) – wait for :23

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279. “Make Out Club” – Unrest (4:19) — love it at :45

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333. “This Is How We Walk On The Moon” – Arthur Russell (4:40)

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492. “Black Cab” – Jens Lekman (4:53)

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