Will Hines Dot Net

Was in Chicago with some UCBT folk for a theater conference. I did something so dumb that I weirdly proud of it. We were walking around the IO Theater (for our first of two nights seeing shows there, which was very cool) and ran across a bar called “Merkle’s” that had a picture of old timey baseball player that I recognized as Fred Merkle. Surprised at seeing such an obscure baseball reference I starting ranting in an impassioned tone “Fred Merkle? Why would anyone have a bar devoted to Fred Merkle? I know that he was famous for not touching second base in the 1908 World Series, which made the umps call the game invalid, which let the Chicago Cubs win the series, but why would someone make a bar about that? That’s stupid!” I said this with Wrigley Field, the home field of the Chicago Cubs, plainly visible two blocks to the north. “Hey, I think 1908 was the last time the Chicago Cubs WON the world series, actually. Anyway, back to this bar — is it some baseball trivia nut?”

So that was dumb.

Dyna Moe will be making videos for Marvel Comics. That is cool. I got to be in the spec video that she pitched. I had linked it above but it is now private and un-viewable (note to corporations: why, when you get content do you go to such great lengths to prevent it from being seen, ever?)

Other nonsense:

Here’s a hilarious video of Andres du Buchet describing crazy actresses in general and his crazy actress roommate in particular. “That phrase ‘crazy actress’ — that’s like saying ‘this sphere is round’ or ‘i am talking with my voice!’”

Doing more stand-up recently, albeit mostly at open mikes. I have yet to take Kevin’s advice to end every joke with “Check, please!” though I’m not totally against that strategy.

Tabitha has got me watching Deadwood. Guess what: it’s good!

Watchmen: I know, I know. We’re all sick of it. But here’s a defense of how cool the Silk Spectre II character is in the comic book (compared with the lobotomized version in the movie) which shows again how well planned and thought-through the book is (similarities between she and her father throughout).

Google Chrome seems cool and I want it for the Mac.

I tried watching Suspiria last night starting at 1:30am but decided I didn’t feel like creeping myself out and watched Planet Terror instead. That movie is funny, though I saw Death Proof two weeks ago and was surprised how much I enjoyed THAT talkfest more on a second viewing.

My cats have become weirdly needy over the years, compared with how they avoided me for the better part of the first year they were here.

I always think “canceled” should be spelled “cancelled” — but that is not correct.

Edited (After tony’s comment) to add: Ah, it IS right! Either way! But my Firefox spellchecker says it’s wrong. And my OCD needs to get rid of the squiggly lines as much as possible.

I’ve been doing a bunch of stand-up this year. Guess what? Stand-up is hard. Sometimes after a bad night I will listen to stand-up that I love to remind me of why I ever liked it. Here’s the first 6 minutes and 23 seconds of from Woody Allen’s first stand-up album in 1964. I’m gonna say it: this Woody Allen is gonna go places in comedy.

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I first heard Woody Allen’s stand-up when I was in ninth grade on Hartford, CT’s WHCN’s Sunday Night Comedy Hour. They played a full hour because Hannah and Her Sisters had just come out. For the first 15 minutes I hated it, and then something clicked and I realized it was my favorite thing in the whole world. I call that the Radiohead effect since it most strikingly happened to me while listening to “OK Computer.” You’ll probably all hate it because you’re a bunch of jerks! But come on!

Some things I love about the old Woody Allen stand-up albums (there’s three as far as I can tell). That he is introduced as a “actor, author and spoiler of women,” that when he’s done he just abruptly says “Good night.” And that’s it.

Ok, that’s not it. The other thing I like, or at least that I’m fascinated by is how much of it is absurdist surreal stuff. The bit I excerpted up above is pretty straight ahead “here’s me using myself as a caricature” stuff. But by the middle of his set he is out and out just telling obviously fake and surreal stories about flying down to mexico to recover a silver mine, or touring Europe with Hemingway, or being hypnotized into thinking he is a fire engine. Stuff like this (50 seconds):

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And people seemed to be going with it. How did he do that? Woody, feel free to comment below.

Okay, now you go.

Another Sean Clemens/Will Hines/Todd Bieber UCBcomedy video. “Monkey King” Edited by Carmen Angelica. It is about a homeless man who is instantly talked out of being crazy. My main goal here was to keep the boom close enough to the actors so we wouldn’t get crazy subway echo. Thanks to crewmaster Ben Ragheb, we did it!

If you’re curious, see the stage version as performed by Stone Cold Fox on Maude Night.

And hey! Here’s “The Dealer“, a Charlie Sanders sketch featuring John Kingman and I. Filmed outside of my apartment by Ryan Gould some months ago. There was a guy to my right just out of frame watching us the entire time, who I now see on my block a fair amount. He usually says “You doing any more videos?” and I say “Nope!” Cameras on the street make anyone seem famous, I guess.

1. Should I be scared of the iMac remote control since it obviously has power but I can’t see where the batteries are?
2. Was whoever played the piano part in The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic?” happy about having to do that, or did he have to be tricked into it?
3. How much money has Steve Ditko made off of the Spider-Man movie?
4. What’s so great about Shakespeare?
5. If I don’t have any ideas for a scene in my improv group’s show, what is the funniest thing I could say?
6. How many feet SHOULD people have, if we were designed by geniuses?
7. What is the best number?
8. Tell me what kind of pants to buy.

I thought it was…. pretty good.

Maybe it’s because my expectations were so low. There’s lots of problems — some persistent throughout (all the dialogue sounds terrible!) but a lot of the cool ideas of the story are still cool in this film. It doesn’t cut corners on the harsh stuff. I’ve heard four different people harsh on the actresses though I’d like to point out that their characters are given nothing to do in the book, too. Be suspicious when comic book nerds say the girls are the problem. You tell them “Uh, the girls were the problem… in your life, when you read The Watchmen! Not in this movie!” I mean, is the problem that the girl who plays Laurie Jupiter doesn’t seem worthy of seducing Dr. Manhattan — OR is the problem that the original comic book has Dr. Manhattan be a world-powerful being who still has the hots for a 17 year old girl? Like, how do you make that true and not be a nerd boy?

It was pretty good.

I’m extremely curious to know how people who had never read the comic like it.

Tasha Robinson’s “Book vs. film” review of Watchmen (major spoilers throughout) really nails the shortcomings of the film while appreciating what’s cool about it.

Hey people. I’m guest-hosting Derrick’s weekly stand-up show tomorrow night at The Creek and the Cave. It’s 8pm, right off the Vernon/Jackson stop on the 7. Good people! Free! Packed! Fun! Come see if you’d like. Here’s the details:

THIS IS NEW YORK
8pm, free
The Creek and the Cave
10-93 Jackson Ave, LIC
7 to Vernon/Jackson or G to 21st St/ Van Alst

http://creeklic.com/directions/

To get to THE CREEK: Take the 7 train to the Jackson Ave stop (first stop in Queens) and it’s a block down on Jackson Ave.

Featuring:
Andrea Rosen
Ritch Duncan
Sean Patton
Megan Ganz
Kumail Nanjiani
Nick Ross
Eliza Skinner

And your guest host me.

The Stepfathers in The Onion’s A.V. Club, or The Decider, or something. Fun, right?