Will Hines Dot Net

Created by Tom Levin and Will Hines in a hurry. Ten movies we like that are good that you haven’t seen that you should check out.

1. Winter Light
2. Two Lane Blacktop
3. Suspiria
4. My Man Godfrey
5. Putney Swope
6. Nashville
7. Last Days
8. Defending Your Life^*
9. Iron Giant
10. Dogville

Our opinion on this matter is final. Your subjective opinion, should it differ, is wrong. Enjoy.

*Was “His Girl Friday” but we decided that was too obvious.

A short essay written as one of the people running classes at UCBT-NY: The title “Why We Are Extremely Hesitant To Cancel Classes No Matter How Big A Snowstorm.”

Even during a huge snowstorm, UCBT-NY is extremely hesistant to cancel classes. We basically won’t do it (with few exceptions) as long as the subway is running. But lots of students protest that we’re being crazy — that it’s a major pain to come out during the snow or at the very least a bummer, especially when many other schools/businesses close.

The reason I am hesitant to push for canceling classes is that it makes for MAJOR scheduling problems. We have seven classes a night at the training center. When they end, another seven will begin the next week, and those are already scheduled and sold. If we bump a given night’s classes, then we also have to bump the next round that’s scheduled. We also have to bump any class shows that are associated with those classes. So that’s rescheduling 14 classes plus however many class shows. Add to this the frequent (and understandable) complaint that we don’t have enough classes. It means that giving a snow day is a major logistical problem. Major! So if a snowstorm means an unpleasant trudge to the subway for the majority of our students, it’s better than the logistical problems of moving classes, class shows and scheduling teachers that postponing would mean.

Public schools have built-in snow days. Businesses do not, but they are open so many days a year that they simply afford to miss one here and there. It wouldn’t make sense for us to expand all classes by a week so we could easily skip one — since we’d only end up using it for maybe 16 classes a year. Students are permitted two absences — it’s the closest we have to building in scheduling flexibility.

It sucks, but we don’t keep the school open during a snowstorm to be dicks. It’s because our other options are way more problematic that a student might assume.

As hurriedly referenced in Cagematch tonight!

“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. ” – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. ” – Lolita.

“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.” – 100 Years Of Solitude

“Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.” – Watchmen

And I thought The Dark Knight Returns started with “This would be a good death” but it’s “I’ve got the home stretch all to myself when the readings stop making sense.”

Year One is “Gotham City. Maybe It’s all I deserve now. Maybe it’s just my time in hell.”

Fun!

The Art of Jaime Hernandez (subtitled “The Secrets of Life and Death”) is out in April! Anyone who likes cool things is required to purchase it.

Good title, too! Thank you Kevin for telling me about this!

The Indigenous Flowers of Southern California Ep. 1 – Mitch Magee’s first Funny Or Die series. This is right up my alley. Who is this man talking to in his bathroom? Just how many flowers are there? How big IS that bathtub? Adam Pally and Eugene Cordero are great, as is the rest of the cast as the series unfolds. Watch all four parts or else you’re a big nerd. Each one ends strong and the end of episode four is my favorite thing in all of media.

“Flowers bowl me over.”

Get Psyched! The Book! Live! Come see Dr. Lanny Latham, his ex-boss Principal Pam Peterson, his three-time-ex-wife Cheryl Latham, his rival Dr. Timothy “Timmy” Robbings, his ex-drug buddy Stan and his current inadvertant co-author Will Hines!

With special opening act Sean Patton, a brilliant stand-up who will have no idea what is going on.

SATURDAY 8pm at THE CREEK in Long Island City! Come see!

Read some sample pages if you want to see what the book is all about.

Numbalex. A commercial for an anti-depressants that tries to get you depressed! I love this! It’s by the beta team The Brig, which I have the pleasure to a coach for. They are hilarious.

Do you guys remember how Rob Lathan and I wrote a book called Get Psyched!? Weird, right? Well we did and we have TWO readings for it this week — one Thursday and one Saturday!

1) Thursday Feb. 18 at 7:30pm at Greenlight Bookstore in Fort Greene, Brooklyn! 686 Fulton Street! With Edith Zimmerman and Elan Baker. We will be there as part of the monthly literary humor show STEAMBOAT hosted by the Bob Powers who is as wry as shit!

2) Saturday 8pm at The Creek! Get Psyched Live! Rob and I and a bunch of other hilarious people read from the book!

Come buy our book! TEN BUCKS if you buy it right out of my hands! Or get it for $12 from getpsyched.biz!

Don’t take my word for it! Here’s Dr. Lanny Latham reading from the book right now!

I enjoy Kevin Mullaney’s posts about improv.

Madeline Would Rather Die In The Flames. Starring Silvija Ozols and Will Hines. Directed by Nick Paley. Written and edited by Will. Crew: Benjamin Apple.

Second in a series of “weird” videos I’m trying to do. I wrote this with Silvija in mind back during September’s National Sketch Writing Month (national throughout NYC improv circles anyway). I feel like Silvija is someone who would stubbornly finish her radio show as the building burned to the ground around her. I mean that as a compliment.

After it was shot I realized it doesn’t quite make sense — is she doing a radio show? A podcast? What is going on? And decided it was better to leave it weird.

Nick Paley shot this which is why it looks good. He was sitting in the lobby of the UCB training center one evening in November and as I walked through he said “Hey, let’s work on something.” And I think I attacked him, saying that everyone says that but it’s baloney because no one has time. He told me to calm down and just send him some ideas. I sent him four or five scripts and we did this one.

This was shot at AOL courtesy of friends there. I like scenes in radio broadcasting rooms.

The original cut was twice as long — my character had six or seven more stilted descriptions of the fire. But none of them were jokes really, just more weirdness. My favorite line that just seemed to slow things down was “I am speaking quietly only because I am paralyzed from fear.” But that will have to live on in this blog post only.

Thanks!