Will Hines Dot Net

Here’s a short and cool essay about Stan Musial, the St. Louis Cardinal outfielder who is one of the best baseball players of all time and rarely talked about. He was also famously nice and generous. The opening story about how he was never once thrown out of a game is amazing all by itself. I found it through Rob Neyer’s ESPN blog.

I always want to believe that famous people — actors, atheletes, authors — are “nice.” I don’t know why, but I do. And it’s a relief to learn that sometimes these people in all likelihood were really just genuinely nice people.

Carlos Zambrano’s doctors say his arm cramps are simply a result of low potassium levels. Now I love baseball, but could we please have some REAL injuries? “Low potassium levels” is about as weak as Josh Beckett being benched because of a blister on his finger. In football people have their shins split in half.

Separate point: Classic/smarty-pants books should NOT have essays by professors as introductions. They’re boring and stodgy and alienating. They also tend to contain massive spoilers. If you want those essays at all (to give the book context, to explain its impact) then put it at the end as an epilogue. I’m reading Sinclair Lewis’ 1935 novel It Can’t Happen Here and then smarty pants intro gives away much of the end of the book!

Separate point again: I read smarty-pants books and am therefore fascinating.

Fun quote from Bill James, the baseball stats and analysis guru who just published The Bill James Gold Mine, in an interview in Time:

Time: Getting back to the book a bit — you know, many fans sitting in the sports bar look at Bill James, all this baseball math, this “sabermetrics,” and probably think, ‘Gosh, these guys have too much time on their hands. They’re geeks.’ What’s your response to that type of thinking?

Bill James: You’ve got me.

“Yes” is funny.

Amazing! The Red Sox are World Series Champs for the second time in four years. That is crazy.

It’s a long way from 1986.

Manny Ramirez dared to say that if the Red Sox lose the playoffs, it’s “not the end of the world.” Specifically, he said:

“Why should we panic? We’ve got a great team. It doesn’t happen, so who cares? There’s always next year. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

And so Red Sox Nation, of which I am a proud member, is supposed to be furious with their best hitter talking about being okay with losing. Except I’m NOT angry — I think Manny has the perfect attitude. It’s that same laid-back attitude that lets him NOT get rattled when he’s at the plate in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. He doesn’t care if it’s two outs or one or what team he’s playing for or what month it is. He stands there, focuses on the pitch, and swings as hard as a wrecking ball. Fine with me.

I don’t like peer pressure to stand up and talk the big talk. If you’re a mellow guy but you’re good, then be mellow, dude. I’m on board.

I’d still love to see Derek Jeter get caught in a brothel of terrorist hookers, but it’s impossible to dislike Joe Torre. It’s actually fun to see how much baseball players love him. When Torre came back from surgery for his prostate cancer, it was no less than Red Sox nation at Fenway Park who happily gave him a standing ovation. Last night was probably Torre’s last game in pinstripes. If you like baseball, that’s a big deal.

He’s one of the two best managers the Yankees have ever had, and still manages to carry himself as if he’s just a guy who’s about to re-align your station wagon’s suspension. I like him. In the late 1970s, with Reggie Jackson’s bravado and Billy Martin’s temper — the Yankees truly were a hate-able team. But Torre took a clubhouse of millionaires and made them seem like just a bunch of baseball players, in the best sense. I’m glad his team is out of the playoffs, but I’m also glad the crowd went nuts for him as he walked to the mound last night.

I enjoy baseball stories. Go Sox.

A whole paragraph of “I”s, just to bump that plug down from the top of my blog:

I met Eddie Money today. He walked in the room and said “Hey, Eddie Money!” as if he were addressing himself. I liked him. DeCoster’s and my sketch show last night was great fun to do, especially for the friend-filled audience. I am training my cats to like seafood, because it annoys me to have to buy only chicken beef or turkey. I saw Big Trouble In Little China (good) and Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (sadly, not) this weekend. I read American Psycho (good, then repetitive). I cleaned my air conditioner filters. I saw They Might Be Giants. I saw The Police. I saw Hines Bro Brian. I dressed up as Jeff Foxworthy and did improv. I have been listening to “All The Rage” by Elvis Costello obsessively, just because it sounds cool. I scrubbed my kitchen. I bought coffee beans from an Italian bakery, ground them and then French pressed the crap out of them. I watched a short video of Gilbert Hernandez, because that dude makes me smile.

Just WIN, Red Sox. C’mon!

Unrelated opinions you did not ask about, which you likely won’t agree with, and that I am not qualified to offer.

1. College athletes should be paid. Yes, their tuition and room/board is part of that but it’s not enough by a long shot. At UConn last year, tuitition/room/board for out-of-state students was $30 thousand. The basketball program grossed almost $8 million, and that’s not counting money from merchandise. It infuriates me that the coaches, athletic directors and recruiters can make hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary and sometimes endorsements but the athletes — the vast majority of which will not go to the pros — walk away with just 30 grand in non-cash.

2. Serial killers / mass-murderers should never have their names published. You can still report the whole story of their lives — just leave out the person’s name. This is similar to how the media treats the identity of rape victims — the police and courts know the victim’s name, but it’s left out of all news coverage. The Virginia Tech killer would be known as “The Virginia Tech killer,” and no one would know his name. When you commit a heinous act of violence — you become a non-person. These guys are motivated at least partly by fame and by suppressing their name we help keep that from them. John Lennon deserves to be famous. The guy who killed him does not.

3. Artists should be allowed to use corporate logos in their work without restriction. No, I don’t know how you’d ascertain what “art” is. But if corporations can use their logo in advertisements that manipulate my opinion in their favor, someone should be allowed to use it to manipulate opinions against them. Balance!

4. A four-pitch walk gets two bases. All pitchers must face at least one batter. No designated hitter. Pete Rose should be allowed in the Hall of Fame, but they should be allowed to use the word “scumbag” on his plaque.

Ok, I’ve launched the new version of My Fellow Jerks. The colors are ungood right now, but the software is fast and reliable (so far). Thank you Ben Whitehouse and SimplePie. Any advice or comments from anyone who uses that page is welcome.

Separately, my office played softball today. I’m pretty good at softball and most importantly, better than I look like I’m going to be. When walking around, my body stumbles clumsily like it’s a cursed marionette. But when put to task it can be strong and hearty like the dwarves of Middle Earth. Specifically, I mean to say I lined some hard grounders up the middle and reined in a few long flies. This was during a pickup game. Our actual game was canceled because the opposing team didn’t have enough people and forfeited. Here’s a photo of me sarcastically cheering after that forfeit.

I enjoy sarcastic cheering.

• Last Thursday I went out with my class for drinks. There was a Smiths song on the jukebox at one point. The next morning I woke up to realize I had purchased two tickets to see Morrissey at the Garden in June. Is that weird? I asked Brian and he said “Not if it’s 1989.” How about this: I currently have tickets to see this summer: Morrissey, The Police and They Might Be Giants.
• I have a page that collects a lot of blogs I read called My Fellow Jerks, but I need new software to run it. My current package (lilana) is slow and mysteriously drops blogs that I’ve added to the roll. Any ideas?
• At work we do a segment called Mo Bliggins Reads Pitchfork in which I voice a screamy thickheaded Texas oil tycoon reading Pitchfork reviews. It is fun.
• I visited my UConn friends this weekend, and their growing brood of children. I was umpiring in the following picture, but it looks like I’m patiently waiting my turn to hit.