Will Hines Dot Net

May I improv nerd out a bit here? Big improv night tonight at UCBT-NY.

First of all, I get to sit in on the Reuben Williams show at 10:30pm, a huge thrill in itself — but even more fun is I’m playing with my brother, Erik Tanouye, Gavin Speiller and Jon Gabrus. Put in terms of Harold Night-ness: that’s three 1985ers and two fwandies. All you people who used to love watching 1985 and fwand on Harold Night check it out. Whoever is funnier between Gavin and Gabrus wins. Also, there’s a high chance for a scene about two vampires playing rugby versus Albert Pujols. Yes, that is an endorsement.

Secondly, Omelette Vision at 7:30pm: Secunda, Delaney and Conroy. Three [...]

So the awesome video group The Landline had to take down their very-funny parody of DirectTV’s ads starring Chris Farley. Not sure why, but I bet it’s because they used DirectTV’s logo, or maybe clips from movies. But it’s a parody – -and a clear one — not an attempt to re-sell or re-broadcast someone else’s work. But corporations get very touchy when they use their logos at all without their permissions.

AND THAT IS BULLSHIT! SUCH BULLSHIT! I can’t express with simple words how angry it makes me feel. I don’t care about the letter of the law on this. My emotional reaction is this: [...]

Lumbered over to the nearby high school this morning and cast my vote in the mayoral contest for William C. Thompson, Jr. I think Bloomberg is a more talented man by far, but I can’t get over how he flipped term limits just because they applied to him. The executive branch executes the law, right? So it shouldn’t just change the laws that limit their personal ambition, right? Right? Jesus, someone tell me I’m right.

No, I’m right. No one is indispensable!

(I wonder if this is how it felt to vote for Perot in 1992. A combination of principled but also “Am I being an idiot?” combined)

Separately, I have a sketch show I’ve written inspired by this very topic [...]

CONS: It makes you look like a pretentious douche. Or maybe like a tiny-dicked angry person reading Nietzche prominently like Kevin Kline’s character in A Fish Called Wanda. It’s heavy. It’s dense and rambly with lots of big words hanging off of run-on sentences and therefore takes mental energy.

PROS: It’s more fun than you’d think. There’s more funny parts than I remember. The dramatic parts are very cool. Melville seems crazy but he seems to know it. You feel like a smart person. You feel like an American.

If nothing else, you should read the first paragraph if you’re a New Yorker. Ishmael is explaining why he feels the need to go to sea, and the way he describes himself [...]

My deli (Hana Food) on Metropolitan Ave might be very funny. They like to rename their sandwiches constantly. Like this new Kanye West sandwich! They also name a lot of stuff after Shrek characters, which is fun and gets more fun the more out of date that is.

Ptolemy and Shelly Slocum are moving to Los Angeles. I miss them already! And our improv community lost two more great actors! Go forth and have greatness, Slocums! Terry Jinn wrote a nice good-bye to them on The Apiary.

9/11/2001 was so crazy and big and scary and world-changing, certainly New-York-City changing, that I would not think to try and explain it.

What I CAN explain is 9/11/2002 — because on that day, when everyone was super-conscious it had been JUST ONE YEAR SINCE 9/11 — the Brooklyn Academy of Music offered free screenings of the movie “Manhattan” as a sort of “let’s just see a movie and feel good about our city” thing. So I went. My life was a mess. The city was a mess. But the opening to this movie really did put me in the best mood. Rhapsody in Blue, great shots of the city and funny narration from Woody Allen, in that order. So [...]

Terry and Ptolemy – photo by Keith Huang

During the Del Close Marathon, I ran over to Kenny’s Castaway to watch and perform in Terry Jinn’s Enormous Television 7. The comedians pick the songs, and Terry and his band perform them. It is a blast — supportive and enthusiastic audience, good performances, and smiles all around.

I performed “Hey Jealousy” by The Gin Blossoms.

If you don't expect too much from me – photo by Keith Huang

Known mostly as a throw-away, that song is one I love truly. Always have! [...]

This happened a few months ago, but it’s funny so I’m posting about it now anyway.

Tabitha works at Spring Street Natural, so I met her there after her shift one Saturday afternoon. We decided we wanted coffee, and Balthazar is right next door to her restaurant. Despite being a snobby place for paparazzi-hungry celebrities, Balthazar also has pretty cheap and good coffee available to go, so we got two cups. We were going to Terry Jinn’s to watch Battlestar Galactica, and decided that we should bring something, and realized that Dean and Deluca was on the corner, so we got cookies there. Then we wanted a crossword puzzle, so we picked up a New York Times and got on the [...]

The heat wave broke this very minute with a huge and powerful downpour. There must have been a concert in McCarren Pool up the street because there is a huge crush of teenagers and twentysomethings running down Lorimer St. to the subway, all shrieking in the rain. It’s like a low-budget horror movie, albiet one that ends with a lot of people cramming into Pete’s Candy Store across the street.