HEIST LEADER DOES PUSH-UPS
Two THUGS and their LEADER are in a jewelry store. An alarm
bell is ringing.
THUG 1
I've got the diamonds -- they were right where you expected,
boss.
THUG 2
Security cameras were easy to take out. Great plan, boss.
BOSS
All right guys. Let's head out.
iPhone alarm sound from BOSS' jacket pocket.
BOSS
Whoops, that's my alarm. Time for me to do my push-ups.
BOSS drops and starts doing push-ups.
THUG 1
Boss, the police are on their way -- there's no time for
this.
BOSS
Ernie: It ALWAYS feels like there's no time. You have to
MAKE time.
THUG 2
Boss, we have to go!
BOSS
Jackie, ever notice how many "have tos" we live by? And that
they rarely include time to take care of ourselves?
BOSS switches to sit-ups.
THUG 1
You only did like four push-ups.
BOSS
I do one more each day than the day before.
THUG 2
You've only been doing this four days?
BOSS
Yep. At this point, it's more about cementing the habit than
total time exercised -- it's why I can't skip this!
THUG 1
Boss, do this LATER! Even wait ten minutes until we're back
at Johnny's place!
BOSS
"Do your exercise later, Boss!" "Wait till tomorrow, Boss!"
Trust me, if you let those little voices get
louder and louder you will NEVER exercise.
THUG 1
Your form is terrible.
BOSS
Yeah? Your discipline for self-improvement is terrible.
THUG 2
If you're doing that, I'm working on my novel.
THUG 2 takes a notepad out of his jacket.
THUG 1
Johnny!
THUG 2
A page a day. I'm up to three chapters already.
BOSS
That's great! What's it about?
BOSS switches to push ups.
THUG 2
Historical fiction. How would the American Revolution have
proceeded if Benedict Arnold had been general and Washington the traitor.
BOSS
Intriguing!
THUG 1
Who cares if it's intriguing? Look,
Hal's waiting in the car and I'm gonna tell him to just go.
HAL enters.
HAL
You guys still here? Oh good. Any one of you want to help me
quiz
myself with my word-a-day calendar?
BOSS
I'll do it. I have to rest between sets.
THUG 2
Aw, you're using the calendar I got you!
HAL
Yeah, great gift.
THUG 1
We NEED TO GO!
BOSS
Define "loquacious."
HAL
Someone who speaks
with great verbosity.
THUG 2
Sounds like Henry Knox as he was negotiating to drag heavy
artillery across Massachusetts.
BOSS
Good one!
THUG 1
That's not a good one! We have to leave.
A GROUP OF POLICEMEN enter. HEAD COP speaks.
HEAD COP
Freeze! Everyone down!
THUGS scramble out their guns and square off with the cops.
BOSS
You'll never take us!
iPhone alarm sounds in HEAD COP's jacket.
HEAD COP
That's me. Everyone time out while I take my vitamin
supplement.