Are YOU
SCARED
ERIK and WILL sit on benches, slumped forward like
deactivated robots. After a moment they activate and behave as if they are on a
talk show. There is no talk show set, and they never acknowledge this.
WILL
Thank you for being on the show.
ERIK
Thanks for having me.
WILL
Can I get you some water?
ERIK
No, thank you.
WILL
Are you scared?
ERIK
Excuse me?
Will
Scared. Are you scared of having water?
ERIK
No, I'm not scared of having water.
WILL
It would explain why you said no.
ERIK
I'm not scared of it, I just don't want any.
WILL
Because you are scared of it.
ERIK
No. Not because I am scared. Because I am not thirsty.
WILL
And this lack of thirst is fear-based?
ERIK
Of course not. I'm just not thirst. It has nothing to do with
fear.
WILL
And although it has nothing to with fear, you do admit that
at this moment you are scared?
ERIK
I am not.
WILL
Are you scared of this picture of a werewolf?
ERIK
No.
WILL
How about this much more poorly-drawn picture?
ERIK
Even less so.
WILL
What if i make this face?
ERIK
I am not scared.
WILL
What if I say boo?
ERIK
Try it.
WILL
Boo.
ERIK
Not scared.
WILL
And by saying so, you are admitting that you are?
ERIK
The opposite.
WILL
Meaning you're scared.
ERIK
I am not.
WILL
Except you are a little.
ERIK
Zero scared.
WILL
Plus a lot of scared?
ERIK
Minus that, because I am not scared.
WILL
SCARED!
ERik
Ah!
WILL
How about right there?
ERIK
I was.
WILL
Well, let's start the show.
ERIK and WILL slump forward like deactivated robots again.