Are YOU SCARED

ERIK and WILL sit on benches, slumped forward like deactivated robots. After a moment they activate and behave as if they are on a talk show. There is no talk show set, and they never acknowledge this.

WILL

Thank you for being on the show.

ERIK

Thanks for having me.

WILL

Can I get you some water?

ERIK

No, thank you.

WILL

Are you scared?

ERIK

Excuse me?

Will

Scared. Are you scared of having water?

ERIK

No, I'm not scared of having water.

WILL

It would explain why you said no.

ERIK

I'm not scared of it, I just don't want any.

WILL

Because you are scared of it.

ERIK

No. Not because I am scared. Because I am not thirsty.

WILL

And this lack of thirst is fear-based?

ERIK

Of course not. I'm just not thirst. It has nothing to do with fear.

WILL

And although it has nothing to with fear, you do admit that at this moment you are scared?

ERIK

I am not.

WILL

Are you scared of this picture of a werewolf?

ERIK

No.

WILL

How about this much more poorly-drawn picture?

ERIK

Even less so.

WILL

What if i make this face?

ERIK

I am not scared.

WILL

What if I say boo?

ERIK

Try it.

WILL

Boo.

ERIK

Not scared.

WILL

And by saying so, you are admitting that you are?

ERIK

The opposite.

WILL

Meaning you're scared.

ERIK

I am not.

WILL

Except you are a little.

ERIK

Zero scared.

WILL

Plus a lot of scared?

ERIK

Minus that, because I am not scared.

WILL

SCARED!

ERik

Ah!

WILL

How about right there?

ERIK

I was.

WILL

Well, let's start the show.

ERIK and WILL slump forward like deactivated robots again.