AGGRESSIVE WHEN WRITING ONLY

BOSS approaches SILVIJA, who is typing in a cubicle.

BOSS

Silvija, how do you think I'm doing?

SILVIJA

Just great!

BOSS

Now Silvija, I want you to be honest. You don't need to gladhandle me.

SILVIJA

I'm not! It's just, you know, I think you're doing very well!

BOSS

Everyone has some complaint about who they work for.

SILVIJA

I guess, I just can't think of one!

BOSS

Maybe you feel strange saying it out loud to my face. Some people are more candid when writing. Write on this paper how you think I'm doing.

SILVIJA

Okay.

BOSS hands SILVIJA a piece of paper. She writes and hands it back. He reads it.

BOSS

Hmmm. I see. So this is interesting. Out loud you said I was doing well, but here on this paper you call me a "horrid cunt."

SILVIJA scrunches up her shoulders and puts her hands over her eyes.

SILVIJA

I know! I guess I do get a tiny bit more bold when writing.

BOSS

Yes, a tiny bit. Wow. A "horrid cunt." Not to quibble, but "cunt" is generally something used to describe a WOMAN that one doesn't like.

SILVIJA

Yeah, but you're like a woman when you want approval. Never mind! Never mind.

BOSS

"Horrid." That's a tough word too. I never thought of myself as "horrid."

SILVIJA

Look, forget I wrote anything okay? I don't know what I mean.

BOSS

Here's another. Tell me why you think I'm so terrible.

SILVIJA

But I don't!

BOSS

Look, it's okay. Just be honest.

SILVIJA

Okay.

SILVIJA writes. The boss takes the paper and reads it.

BOSS

See, now - this is also different than what I expected. It says "You are a small, mean arsehole" and there's a drawing of... of...

SILVIJA

An arse.

BOSS

Right, right. A much more negative attitude on paper.

SILVIJA

I know! I'm such a weirdo!

BOSS

And not to focus on irrelevant details, but "arsehole" is a British term, isn't it?

SILVIJA

Yes!

BOSS

But I'm not British, and neither are you.

SILVIJA

Well, you're sort of repressed and stuffy like a Brit -- oh, I don't know! Don't ask me!

BOSS

I'd like  you to write one more opinion here.

SILVIJA

Oh, I'd rather not. Don't worry wha I think! I'm just being grumpy!

BOSS

No, it's okay. I'm.... curious to know your real opinions.

SILVIJA

Okay.

SILVIJA writes one more time.

BOSS

All right. Okay. Hmmm.

SILVIJA shrugs.

BOSS

Is this Nazi imagery?

SILVIJA

No, Cambodian death camp.

BOSS

I see. Okay, thank you for your thoughts!

BOSS walks away hastily.

SILVIJA

You got it, chief!

BLACKOUT.