SUPERMAN IS
A JOURNALIST
CITIZENS gather in a METROPOLIS square.
CITIZEN 1
Lex Luthor has taken over control of the bank!
CITIZEN 2
That scoundrel! How'd he do it?
CITIZEN 1
He's got a laser pointed at the moon.
CITIZEN 3
Wait! Look! Up in the sky!
CITIZEN 1
It's a bird!
CITIZEN 2
It's a plain!
CITIZEN 3
It's a journalist!
SUPERMAN lands.
SUPERMAN
Did someone call for Superman? Wait, what did you guys say?
CITIZEN 1
We said "journalist." You're not just SUperman, you're also
Clark Kent, right?
SUPERMAN
Yeah. Yeah, I gave up my secret identity, that's true.
CITIZEN 2
Which means you're not just SUperman, but Clark Kent,
journalist!
CITIZEN 3
You can get in there an accurately document Lex Luthor's
manipulations of this bank!
SUPERMAN
I'm just going to, you know, like, beat him up. Until he
gives up.
CITIZEN 1
Well, that's a short term solution.
CITIZEN 2
Sure, you beat him up today, put him jail. Then his lawyer
gets him out in 3 months and he's back on the street.
CITIZEN 3
You need to document how he gets his radioactive fuel for his
laser!
CITIZEN 1
Yeah, no way that's through legal channels!
CHANNEL 2
Shut him down, journalist!
CITIZEN 3
THe fourth estate! Here to save us again!
SUPERMAN
I guess I'm a pretty good writer.
CITIZEN 1
The best! Your expose of Metropolis' zoning commission helped
save the parks!
SUPERMAN
You're right! I'm gonna go in that bank and research the crap
of that laser!
CITIZEN 1, CITIZEN 2, CITIZEN 3
Hooray!
BATMAN enters.
BATMAN
Any way I can help?
CITIZEN 1, CITIZEN 2, CITIZEN 3
Look! A philanthropist!
You know.