don't ask me|
Straight Shooting In A Crooked World
(Don't Ask Me is the advice column of Spite Magazine, featuring the wisdom of the Killer Queen. Send your tales of love, woe and misery to email@example.com and then check back to this page for a response. Check the intro for more info.)
February 24, 1998
I am a computer programmer in NYC. Sometimes I get bored out of my mind with my job, and I miss the days when I was a journalist. I had only two problems with being a journalist: 1) I sucked, basically and 2) With my low salary, I could afford only to live in my father's basement. Should I go back to that field, anyway? Or am I just trying to keep myself interesting by associating with a more interesting field? What do you think of journalism?
Not Will H.
Dear (not) Will,
As I see it, you have opted to keep yourself mired within the sludge of these two rather submissive lifestyle choices:
1. To live in NYC, or
Life seems glum in retrospect, doesn't it? This should make you feel even worse: as a single, attractive, independent woman, I have made a strong triple-header pact with myself that has served me nicely over the span of my adult life: number one, I will not date men who live with their parents; number two, I will not listen to 90's music; and number three, if I were to suddenly be offered a job chasing tornadoes across Oklahoma, I wouldn't hesitate one iota about giving up my medical insurance and moving to another country. Single or not, this philosophy should carry over into YOUR life -- stop being such a damned wuss and get off your IKEA couch. Have some gall...take an emotional risk...quit being that dorky loser who in grade 10 sported that less-than-attractive James Spader-esque a la Pretty In Pink feathered sweep-over, and do what turns YOUR crank.