Dear Carol,

When I read your EMail last Tuesday (quoted above in its entirety), I was not at all surprised by your foolishness. The quote which you refer to:

"I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than be with another man." -- Elvis Presley

which Spite often features on its front page, is one which many people believe is a "Beatles" quote. Although they and you are all horribly, horribly wrong, I have learned over time to accept this error since it is such a common mistake.

You see Carol, many people know that John Lennon did indeed sing those words as the first line of "Run For Your Life", the last track on the Beatles Rubber Soul album. However, few people know that John took the line, word for word, from a song Elvis Presley recorded in 1956 called "Baby, Let's Play House."

Technically, I should attribute the quote to Arthur Gunter, who wrote the song. But since Elvis was the first to popularize it, I quote him. If you had instructed me that Mr. Gunter was the true originator of those words, my admiration would equal the disgust I feel now.

But I wouldn't expect you to know about Elvis, Ms. Weston, or even the Beatles. Indeed, expecting others to possess my powerful and facile grasp of popular music history would be unfair.

However, I do expect the chance to respond to any corrections, or should I say unprovoked attacks, which one named Carol Ann Weston might send to me.

But, when I sent an EMail to correct you, your mail server rejected my response. Return to sender. Address unknown.

Quickly, I sent the EMail again, substituting "webmaster" for "caweston". I placed a short note at the top, asking whoever received my note to deliver it to you. When that failed, I tried "root", "admin", "info" and "feedback". Each failed.

Panicked, I configured my EMail software to "show all headers" in your EMail, which revealed the path your message had taken across the country. I searched for some clue as to why my response was not accepted. No obvious answer.

An extensive search through "yellow pages" on the web did not reveal any listings for a "Carol Ann Weston." Nearly two dozen calls to telephone directories in different states, which I chose at random, also failed to elicit any listing for "Carol Ann Weston."

My search left my unsatisfied, and seething with the knowledge that someone out there actually believed that I did not know my Beatles and Elvis Presley music history.

You have forced me, Ms. Weston, to take my grievances public in this forum. And so now, with the teeming masses of Spite readership watching, I declare to you, Carol Ann Weston:

Elvis DID say those words before the Beatles.

I'm sorry it had to come to this, but the truth must be heard! Might I suggest to YOU, Ms. Weston, that you research your accusations a little more thoroughly before you lob them around willy-nilly with all the recklessness of a four-year old playing with hedge shears!

What other lies are you telling people, Ms. Weston? That Walt Disney is frozen somewhere beneath Cinderella Castle? That Mikey from the old Life cereal commercials died while eating pop rocks?

And most importantly, can the truth survive in America today, while Carol Ann Weston stands ready to sabotage it at any moment, for no discernable reason?

I might never know the answer to that question, not as long as those who corrupt the pool of knowledge on the Internet with lies hide behind false EMail addresses. But maybe in some small way, just warning the other readers about this incident will help protect us all from lies, from deception, and help us all realize that Will Hines knows his Beatles History!.

Regards,

Will Hines
Editor, Spite Magazine