One of my biggest pet peeves in life is people who strut around, bragging about how the night before they got really drunk and screwed some girl they didn't even know. This is the main premise of one of Jimmy Buffett's biggest hits: "Let's All Get Drunk and Screw" For many in their late teens and early twenties, this song can do no wrong. I can hear the fraternity party now. A bunch of intoxicated 20-year-olds singing along with a guy who is about the same age as my dad. Hey Jimmy, look in the mirror and check your drivers license: you're an adult.

Mr. Buffett (using mister to respect my elders) should go on tour with Kenny Loggins and take notes. Now there is a guy who realizes his age. Oh sure Footloose rocked back in the day, but Kenny knows he's past that. So now he writes songs his kids can enjoy about things like Winnie the Pooh and big fuzzy unicorns or whatever. Actually, I think Kenny Loggins, Paul McCartney, and Raffi should form a band to show Jimmy how aging musicians should act. These guys have accepted their age and record songs about soap and pillows, or something.

Meanwhile good ole boy Jimmy Buffett is still belting out "Cheeseburger in Paradise" to a crowd of Greek letter-sporting business and communications majors.

See, Jimmy Buffett has a no-fail formula for the music business. Sing about alcohol and sex, and just keep acting super laid-back. Jimmy Buffett is pretty much your friend's "cool dad" with a guitar and a record contract. Of course Jimmy is relaxed and has no worries: he's got millions of dollars. And if by some chance he discovers his money vault is a little low, how could always sell the rights to "Margaritaville" to Hooters and he'll be rolling around in his money again.

Other musicians accept their shortcomings as part of their image. Noel Gallagher will admit his songs are senseless, and that he's happy they still sell. I doubt Posh Spice (drooool) wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says to herself "Today I'm going to write music that is true to who I am and not worry about what others think". What she probably says is "Wow! I'm hot!" and then thanks her lucky stars for it. Either Jimmy Buffettt should admit he knows he's writing fail-safe songs or start writing songs about taxes and Just For Men Hair Coloring for his hit album, "Hey, Turn That Noise Down!"