The Art of the Grudge, cont'd
Welcome To The Classroom


So you've admitted you have a problem. Good for you. That's the first step to recovery. And if you believe that, it's more than obvious that you need help.

Unlike other "step" programs, the first major key to holding a grudge is to never accept responsibility for anything. You do that and you might as well get down on your knees now, because you'll be there, groveling, for the rest of your adult life.

Lesson #1 - Refuting Blame

It's very simple: you are never, ever, ever at fault.

After all, no grudge can last as long as you entertain the possibility that you may have been wrong. Fortunately for most of us, we have a nice cushy ego to help us out in this regard.

But insurance is always a good thing, so try to apply the absolute denial policy whenever possible.

Absolute denial, simply put, goes like this: At the hint of any altercation, establish control by repeatedly stressing who's fault it is (not yours).

Example

John spills scalding hot coffee onto a co-worker's desk, the file on which the co-worker has spent a bare minimum of 60 hours in overtime working on, and the co-worker. John's response:

    Wrong: "Oops."

    Right: "Look what you made me do! You know there's only decaf left!"

As you can see, John has taken the correct approach in scenario two. Not only does he deny blame, he cleverly shifts it to someone else, namely his co-worker. This maneuver brings us to our next lesson.

(Go on to Lesson 2)


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