It has always fascinated me the way pop culture can be so fickle. What's hot today is ice cold tomorrow. The television programs and movies people quote today are insulted tomorrow. But more impressive, are the one time starts who consumed the public interest that are no invisible to all of pop culture. Thus we present...

Jennifer Who-pez?
The cover to a
little-known album
Where are They Now?
Jennifer Lopez.
A Spite feature by Brian Hines

What happened to this hot tamale? Anybody know? I faintly remember her being a Fly Girl on the sketch comedy show In Living Color and she almost rose to gaudy fame after starring in the movie Anaconda. She was overlooked in that movie mainly because of the Oscar-worthy (yet snubbed) performance of Ice Cube. Since then, who knows what happened to this Latino ball of possibility.

Nic-who Kid-who?
A cute little starlet
who married into obscurity
I'm assuming she's hanging out at Chili's with other fallen stars such as Brad Pitt, Will Smith, and Nicole Kidman. Remember her??? The nurse from Days of Thunder! And let's not forget one-hit wonder Will Smith with his song "Parents Just Don't Understand." It's a shame his talent was never realized. And who knows what Brad Pitt may have accomplished if it weren't for that ugly mug a mother couldn't even love. Frightful!

Back to Lopez, also known as "J Lo" to one or two close, personal friends and family members. (I dug that little factoid up after years of painstaking research to track down what she's up to today.)

Apparently, she's still trying to get back into the public eye! She's involved in several direct-to-TV movies starring other D-list celebs such as Gregor Clooney, Matthew McConackley, and Benji Affleck.

I'm sure you sparse Lopez fans are interested in her love life. Well, today is your lucky day (for all three of you). I happen to come across an invitation to a wedding that never happened. Apparently, Jennifer was supposed to marry some extra from one of her bizarre and unheard of movies. But the wedding never happened! The groom's father, being fantastically racist, refused to let his son marry a 'foreigner'.

Some dude that thought
he could replace white rapper
Jesse Jaymes
Her latest attempt to gain fame and fortune once more involved a movie/music crossover! She has cut a demo featuring such ditties as "If You Want My Glove" and "Jenny in a Sock". Haven't these people learned from the failed attempts of other forgotten star attempting to cross over into other mediums? I mean, look what making a movie did to Eminem! You probably don't know what it did because he's nothing now. NOTHING!!! He's a worthless, dried up, useless, ball of no-talent crap.

Jaime Pressley
Jaime Pressly
So, what does the future hold for Jennifer Lopez? I believe that given the chance, she could be the next 1-800-collect spokesperson. But that's only if superstar Jaime Pressly makes room for her by continuing her skyrocket up into the cosmos. The cosmos of HOLLYWOOD.

Brian Hines was 13 when Jennifer Lopez was on In Living Color.

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