Spite presents: An Open Letter to Satan Regarding Louie Anderson from Brian and Will Hines Dear Devil, The Prince of Evil Seriously, what's up with Louie Anderson? We were watching television the other day and saw him hosting the new Family Feud. It was the most opposite-of-funny thing we've ever seen. We sat there stunned: Why would Louie Anderson, a man who desperately needs to revive his career, sign on to this sure-to-tank game show? Naturally, our thoughts turned to Satan. It's common knowledge that Louie Anderson sold his soul to you for his fame and glory of the late 80s. Seeing the Family Feud, it became clear to us that you are no longer holding up your end of the bargain. For a while there, Satan, you were making good. Louie Anderson - a man with admittedly no talent - was well on his way to becoming John Candy II! He landed bit parts in Quicksilver and Coming to America, a lead role in The Wrong Guys, and eventually his own cartoon series! And you damn well couldn't turn on Johnny Carson without seeing Louie talking about his goldfish wanting a jelly doughnut! He was a star shooting to the top of the sky. And of course everyone knew he had sold his soul to the devil to do it. Deserves Family Feud But now: The New Family Feud?! Devil, who do you think you're messing with? Yakov Smirnof? Rita Rudner? C'mon! This guy was Chris Farley before Chris Farley was Chris Farley, you know? We don't know you handle things down in Hell, Devil, but this is America. We make good on our deals or pay up. You shouldn't walk out of the Gap with a broken zipper on your khakis, and Louis shouldn't walk out of the kingdom of Heaven for a guest spot on the Game Show Network. Be a man. Give Louie Anderson his soul back. Regards, Brian and Will Hines It took Brian and Will more than a month to finish this. Spite Home | Bile Cabinet Write Spite | Post A Message