Spite presents:

Patton. Sort of. 500 Words:
Remembering Patton
A tribute to George C. Scott

by Jim Foster, 9/24/99

Yesterday, George C. Scott died. George did us all a favor when he represented General George Patton in the 1971 movie "Patton." In addition, Scott was also brilliantly funny in "Dr. Strangelove." And morally bankrupt in "The Hustler." Now he's gone and I'm angry. The fact that he's dead isn't what has me angry, it's that he's dead and a loser like Boris Yeltsin is still alive. Sissy. How much jet-fuel laced Russian vodka does that thieving bastard have to drink before he'll die? But, Yeltsin saved democracy in Russia! Please, so he could take the opportunity to steal millions. How noble. Scott gave me something, Boris and the rest of those "commie bastards", as Patton called them, give me nothing and take my money. And speaking of commies, what's with China? Hey China, if your country is so great, and if communism is such a successful political idea, and if you're a "world leader" who "should be respected," why the hell are you stealing US ideas? Don't you have any scientists of your own? Aren't they smart? Why do all your best and brightest go to college here? Can't you build your own schools? Are you really a great country or is it just your willingness to grind millions of lives to dust in a desperate attempt to hold onto power that keeps The Middle Kingdom afloat? Russia failed, Cuba is a joke, even East Germany still has WWII rubble lying around, and North Korea evokes pity - what the communist leadership there has done to Koreans is criminal. But China, they're laughable, we remember when you used to have a culture, we remember when you were thousands of years ahead of the rest of the non-civilized world. We remember paper and silk and gunpowder. What have you got now? Pantywaist. Threats to a tiny country that was never yours to begin with (let alone the Chinese nationalists who fled Mao), meddling in other countries' elections, a thriving market in copied software, movies, and music, and stealing secrets from a country that keeps your fledging "economy" afloat with a multi-million dollar trade deficit. Yeah, you're a role model - loved that stand for keeping peacekeepers out of Kosovo. Sovereign nations indeed. Sovereign like Tibet? I guess it's easy to back a genocidal maniac when you've got Mao in your history. Do the words 'honest self-evaluation' mean any thing to you Zemin? For years the communist countries have criticized the "decadent" west, but peel back the clean red banners and underneath you find their leaders gladly frolicking in a cesspool the likes of which their own propaganda machines have never painted for the West. Could kick your ass. I'm really looking forward to what new depravity the post-commie North Korea or Cuba will bring us. Patton said it best in 1945 when he suggested starting a war with Russia, "Hell, we're gonna have to fight them sooner or later, let's do it now while we've got everything here!" He's been right for the last 55 years.
 
Jim Foster once had the requirements for admission to F.B.I. posted on his refrigerator. Spite takes no responsibility for anything he does or says ever.



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