willhines.net

We were playing trivia here at work. And I said a “fun” trivia challenge is to name the vice-presidential candidate on the losing side of the last 10 elections. So we tried that and got to Dan Quayle and laughed about the millions of amazingly dumb things he would say. Then we remembered that our current president also famously says dumb things. So now: I want a video of our current President playing Dan Quayle in Simon.

Is that really that funny, my co-worker asked? It’s worth a blog, I replied.

| Tags: dan quayle, george bush, simon, useless

I think it would be fun to set a profile picture on a dating site of oneself sobbing uncontrollably.

| Tags: useless

How do I know I was hungover on Sunday morning? Because it took me half an hour to make a pot of coffee. I no longer really get sick after drinking a lot — I just can’t THINK for a while.

| Tags: nyc, useless

My sideburns were reaching a Martin Van Buren level of thickness so I thinned them down to a five-o-clock shadow length. The next day I got three compliments on my “haircut.” Lesson: when you are balding, your sideburns comprise a significant portion of people’s perception of your hair.

Also, as Ben Rodgers and I were walking into UCB Theatre for School Night last night we passed Rob Lathan going the other way with a pair of stilts. I really love that my life is at a place where such things happen so I documented it with a picture. At School Night, DeCoster and I improvised a scene of two guys [...]

| Tags: ben rodgers, decoster, latham, ucbt, useless