ZERO BUDGET SUPERHERO MOVIE

Two men in suits in an office. They are in the middle of a confrontation.

MAN 1

You FIEND! You've stolen millions from my company and used it to build an evil weather machine!

MAN 2

But you have no proof so you can't tell the police! There's nothing you can do.

MAN 1

I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I have the power to stop time. (music sting) There.

MAN 2

What?

MAN 1

I just stopped time, ran downstairs, and planted 5 kilos of uncut heroin in your car. I think the police should find that PRETTY interesting.

TITLE: ZERO BUDGET SUPERHERO MOVIE

MAN 2

I see. Well, I've never told you this, but I have super speed.

MAN 1

Super... speed?

MAN 2

Yes. (Music cue) There. I just sped down to the parking garage, got the heroin from my car, broke into your car and placed it there. I think the police should find THAT pretty interesting.

MAN 1

Too bad I also have the powers to teleport objects one city block as long as they are not in the room with me. (sting) There. The heroin is safely out of my car now. The police should find THAT...

MAN 2

Pardon me while I transfer my spirit self into the body of the parking garage attendant to move the heroin...There, the police should...

MAN 1

(touches laptop)

My power of computers lets me make it so the registration for MY car is now YOUR car (touches computers, music)... There. Now I think the police will find THAT pretty...

MAN 2

(reveals lamp)

I have secured the services of a genie who's invisible and who can only affect things that are not in conference rooms. (rubs lamp - music). Boom. Drugs back in your car which I think the police will find PRETTY INT...

MAN 1

(stone)

My Medallion of NorFundurn shall invoke Mighty Odin to show up downstairs and switch the drugs...there, now I think the police should..

MAN 2

I am linked telepathically to a clone of myself who is waiting for my orders downstairs ...there, I think...

MAN 1

My brothers the ants will move the drugs bag upon my mental command, it will take a while but THEN I think the police...

MAN 2

This silent non-seeable matter-transporter beam...

MAN 1

My control over hidden powdered chemicals...

MAN 2

Long distance Magic wand!

MAN 1

Limited reality bending...

MAN 2

Remote hypnosis...

MAN 1

Semi-local telekenesis...

A SECRETARY enters.

SECRETARY

Would either of you like coffee?

MAN 1

Um, yes.

SECRETARY

Okay.

SECRETARY holds fingers to her head. Coffee appears on table. She leaves.

MAN 1

Well, we're not that special.