NICE CANS - HINES (V3.3)
WHITMORE and MAGS are two fratty guys sitting in chairs next
to each
other. WHITMORE is looking forward with binoculars. MAGS also has binoculars,
but has them resting on his chest. He is slumped back in his chair, gazing
vacantly forward and lazily munching some Planters peanuts.
WHITMORE
Mags: check it.
MAGS is instantly fumbling for his binoculars.
MAGS
Whatta we got.
WHITMORE
I gotta nice little hottie in view. (pause) Aw, nice cans!
"Nice cans!" In the cadence of "There we go!" or "That's the
spot!"
MAGS
Oh, yeah! Nice
rack!
WHITMORE
Yeah. sweet titties, huh?
MAGS
Yeah, I like those jugs. Nice knobs.
WHITMORE
Good knockers. Quality bazooms.
MAGS
Those are some ripe tomatoes.
WHITMORE
Good little tooters. Sweet horns.
MAGS
Like those high beams.
WHITMORE
No shit you do. It's cause they're sitting on some nasty hooters.
MAGS
Hot little scoops. Nice mounds.
WHITMORE
Hottie's got some biscuits.
They are running out.
MAGS
She's sporting some woofers.
WHITMORE
Girl has her billiards RACKED.
MAGS
Nice, uh... moons.
WHITMORE
Yeah, I like those ... paperweights.
MAGS
She has good... spheres.
WHITMORE
Sexy ...ice caps.
MAGS
Yeah, sweet mammaries.
Locking back into a confident tone.
WHITMORE
Good glands, girlie!
MAGS
Nice breast apparati!
WHITMORE
I enjoy your milking system!
MAGS
I'm aroused by your upper torso.
WHITMORE
I'm emotionally engaged by the bumps in your chest.
MAGS
I am observing your ventral side!
WHITMORE
You'd be an athletic sexual partner. I'd enjoying touching your front.
MAGS
No shit you would. She's got the physical attributes of a biologically superior mate.
WHITMORE
Roger that. Her voluptuous frame implies she'd be a suitable child-bearer.
MAGS
Having sex with her would give me a high social status. I'd be respected as a leader of my tribe.
WHITMORE
If I had sex with a woman of that general physical type, I'd be fulfilling a deeply-seeded survival instinct. My body would reward me with a rush of endorphins large enough to temporarily counteract my low self-esteem.
MAGS
Yes. Her breasts inspire in me a desire to fill her with my seed, hoping to create a sprawling brood of pups -- filled with my DNA and her physical superiority. Those children would go forth in the world and dominate their fellow men, carrying my genetic material to the every corner of this planet Earth. In that way, I could be immortal. Immortal. Immortal.
WHITMORE
I'm really psyched about her boobs.
BLACKOUT
Extra shit that was cut:
WHITMORE
Like the gonzagas. Good set of taters.
MAGS
Good pyramids.