NICE CANS - HINES (V3.3)

WHITMORE and MAGS are two fratty guys sitting in chairs next to each other. WHITMORE is looking forward with binoculars. MAGS also has binoculars, but has them resting on his chest. He is slumped back in his chair, gazing vacantly forward and lazily munching some Planters peanuts.

WHITMORE

Mags: check it.

MAGS is instantly fumbling for his binoculars.

MAGS

Whatta we got.

WHITMORE

I gotta nice little hottie in view. (pause) Aw, nice cans!

"Nice cans!" In the cadence of "There we go!" or "That's the spot!"

MAGS

Oh, yeah! Nice rack!

WHITMORE

Yeah. sweet titties, huh?

MAGS

Yeah, I like those jugs. Nice knobs.

WHITMORE

Good knockers. Quality bazooms.

MAGS

Those are some ripe tomatoes.

WHITMORE

Good little tooters. Sweet horns.

MAGS

Like those high beams.

WHITMORE

No shit you do. It's cause they're sitting on some nasty hooters.

MAGS

Hot little scoops. Nice mounds.

WHITMORE

Hottie's got some biscuits.

They are running out.

MAGS

She's sporting some woofers.

WHITMORE

Girl has her billiards RACKED.

MAGS

Nice, uh... moons.

WHITMORE

Yeah, I like those ... paperweights.

MAGS

She has good... spheres.

WHITMORE

Sexy ...ice caps.

MAGS

Yeah, sweet mammaries.

Locking back into a confident tone.

WHITMORE

Good glands, girlie!

MAGS

Nice breast apparati!

WHITMORE

I enjoy your milking system!

MAGS

I'm aroused by your upper torso.

WHITMORE

I'm emotionally engaged by the bumps in your chest.

MAGS

I am observing your ventral side!

WHITMORE

You'd be an athletic sexual partner. I'd enjoying touching your front.

MAGS

No shit you would. She's got the physical attributes of a biologically superior mate.

WHITMORE

Roger that. Her voluptuous frame implies she'd be a suitable child-bearer.

MAGS

Having sex with her would give me a high social status. I'd be respected as a leader of my tribe.

WHITMORE

If I had sex with a woman of that general physical type, I'd be fulfilling a deeply-seeded survival instinct. My body would reward me with a rush of endorphins large enough to temporarily counteract my low self-esteem.

MAGS

Yes. Her breasts inspire in me a desire to fill her with my seed, hoping to create a sprawling brood of pups -- filled with my DNA and her physical superiority. Those children would go forth in the world and dominate their fellow men, carrying my genetic material to the every corner of this planet Earth. In that way, I could be immortal. Immortal. Immortal.

WHITMORE

I'm really psyched about her boobs.

BLACKOUT

Extra shit that was cut:

WHITMORE

Like the gonzagas. Good set of taters.

MAGS

Good pyramids.