HAIR WAS STANDING UP WHOLE TIME

BRIAN and CHARLIE and sitting in the living room watching television. GREGORY enters -- his hair is standing straight up.

GREGORY

Hey guys. Man, am I glad to be home.

BRIAN and CHARLIE look at him but don't say anything.

GREGORY

Guess who came into the restaurant today? Guess. Kevin Seal. Remember him? Used to host 120 minutes on MTV? Sort of annoyingly on-purpose quirky? Squinty face? He came into the restaurant. And you know what's weird about him? He's like, 300 pounds now! They only reason I even know for sure that it's him is that he gave me his autograph WHICH I didn't ask for. Weird, right?

BRIAN

Yeah, weird.

GREGORY

(starting to head off to his room)

SO weird!

GREGORY is offstage a moment. BRIAN and CHARLIE continue watching television. GREGORY re-enters.

GREGORY

So....

BRIAN and CHARLIE turn to face him.

GREGORY

My hair... is standing... pretty much straight up in the air.

CHARLIE

It is.

GREGORY

Was it this way when I... LEFT this morning?

BRIAN

(after thinking a moment)

It was.

CHARLIE

Yes it was.

GREGORY

Ok. Ok. How come you guys didn't tell me?

BRIAN

No one at work told you?

GREGORY

Work? You guys are my roommates! Why didn't YOU guys tell me?

BRIAN and CHARLIE look at GREGORY for a long time.

CHARLIE

Yeah, well...Greg, you're kind of a hard guy to talk to.

GREG takes this in.

GREGORY

Wow. Well, I guess I must be. I had no idea I was that unapproachable. Okay, well, I'm sorry. I can be defensive, and I guess I need to take some responsibility for that.

BRIAN and CHARLIE just look at him.

GREGORY

Okay, I'm gonna work on that.

GREGORY turns to leave. There is an octopus straddling his back. CHARLIE and BRIAN look at each other.

BRIAN

Just leave him be.