THE SUMMARY BROTHERS
ROB and BRAD take the stage. They are wearing sunglasses and
are too goddamn old.
ROB
Yo, what's UP! Where are the Summary Brothers and we make the
funniest rap movie parodies in HISTORY!
BRAD
Check out our number one hit "DIE HARD RAP"
Beat starts.
ROB
Once a New York cop named JOHN MCCLAINE, visited his wife who
was a CALI-FORN-I-AIN!
BRAD
But terrorists took over the building she was in, so MCCLAINE
had to get down with some terrorists KILLIN'
BOTH
Yo! That's what happened in that movie!
Yep! That's what happened in that movie!
DIE HARD! That's what happened in that movie!
Did you hear? That's what happened in that movie!
BRAD
Summary Brothers!
Beat stops.
ROB
Yo! The video for that rap got NINE MILLION HITS on You Tube!
BRAD
It was a picture of us doing the rap with pictures of DIE
HARD floating over our heads!
ROB
This was our next hit rap, "GODFATHER RAP"
Same beat starts.
BRAD
DON CORLEONI was the head of the mob,
But he wanted his son Michael to have a different job.
ROB
But Michael was the only son who wasn't stupid or dead.
BRAD
Oh yeah, at one point someone put a horse's head in a bed!
BOTH
That's what happened in that movie.
Yo! That is what occurred in that movie.
Yep! That's what happened in that movie!
Yeah! We are restating facts of the movie!
ROB
Summary Brothers!
BRAD
Godfather!
Beat stops.
ROB
Yo, that video got TWELVE MILLION hits on break.com!
BRAD
And we won THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS from JibJab for that shit,
people! We are the BEST!
ROB
Okay we got one more HIT RAP PARODY for you people.
BRAD
It's called THE SUMMARY BROTHERS.
Same beat starts.
ROB
Well when this bit started I walked out from over there,
BRAD
And soon after that I walked out from over there.
ROB
Then I performed a rap that we have done before
BRAD
And I did that rap too and then we rapped a little MORE.
BOTH
Yeah! That's what happened on this stage!
Yo! That's what we did before on this stage!
Yeah! We are restating the things you saw us do before on this stage!
Yeah! We are saying things that you have seen happen before!
Yo! We are saying things without adding a point of view!
Yeah! The things we are saying do not have a particular spin!
Yo! We are simply abstracting things you know into a rhyming form and then not
doing anything!
Yeah! That's what happened on this stage!
Beat ends
ROB
Summary brothers!
BRAD
That's gonna be our next big hit, bitches!
ROB
It's gonna get 25 million hits on College Humor!
BRAD
It's gonna be us doing that rap with pictures of US floating
over our heads!
ROB
We're gonna be more famous than God, yo!
BRAD
We are gonna live until the end of time yo! See the human
race evolve into hairless beings without toes!
ROB
That's right! Our raps make us IMMORTAL, son!
BRAD
Good night, bitches! We'll say hello to your grandchildren!