TUBTHUMPING
(HINES)
WILL is driving a car and KEVIN is in the passenger seat. WILL fiddles with the radio.
WILL
Kevin, this radio is definitely busted. I can't get anything in.
KEVIN
Wanna listen to this mix CD I made you for your birthday?
WILL
I didn't know you made me a mix CD! "To Will Hines. Happy Birthday to a great brother." Ohhhh. Thank you! Yeah, let's listen to it. Read me the playlist.
KEVIN
No! I want to see your reaction to each song as it comes on.
WILL
Well, all right, we've got a ways before we get to Great
Adventure anyway.
KEVIN puts the CD on. "Tubthumping" plays.
WILL
Hmph. You like this song?
KEVIN
Love it.
WILL
Wow, I wouldn't have called that. They listen to it a bit more.
WILL
I'm going to skip ahead because I'm not so crazy about this song.
KEVIN
Fine by me.
Next song - also "Tubthumping."
WILL
That's the same song.
KEVIN
Yeah, it's great.
WILL
Why would you put this song twice in a row?
KEVIN
I like to start a mix off with a few fast ones.
WILL
Hmm. Okay. They listen.
WILL
Do you have any more copies of this song on the mix?
KEVIN
No, that's it.
WILL
Okay, well I'm going to skip ahead again.
KEVIN
No problem.
Will skips ahead. "Tubthumping" again.
WILL
That's the same song.
KEVIN
I know, it's great.
WILL
Yeah, but it's the SAME SONG.
KEVIN
This is the German version. I thought it would be cool to hear a different version of the same song so you could compare.
WILL
They're speaking English.
KEVIN
It was RELEASED in Germany.
WILL
You made this mix for me, right?
KEVIN
Yeah!
WILL
Okay, but I don't like this song. You know the music I like - The Beatles, The Pixies, Elvis Costello, whatever.
KEVIN
I know what songs you like. I just wanted to introduce you to a few new ones.
WILL
This was a number one song for like a year.
KEVIN
I know. It's great, isn't it?
WILL
Regardless of the quality of the song, I didn't need to be introduced to it.
KEVIN
Just skip ahead again.
WILL
Is the next track the same song?
KEVIN checks the playlist.
KEVIN
Would you be upset if it was?
WILL
Yes, I think I would be.
KEVIN checks the playlist again.
KEVIN
You'd better skip a few ahead.
WILL skips a few ahead. With each skip ahead, we hear the start of "Tubthumping."
KEVIN
It's a great song, isn't it?
WILL stops skipping ahead.
WILL
I'll just listen to this later.
KEVIN
C'mon! Listen to it now! We've got nothing else to do until we get to Great Adventure!
WILL
Hey, Kevin! I don't want to listen to a while CD of the same song! You could have just given me a one-track CD and told me to hit repeat!
KEVIN
Now what kind of lame gift would that be?
WILL
The exact same gift you just gave me!
WILL looks ahead with a disappointed expression. KEVIN checks the playlist.
KEVIN
Track 15 is a different song.
WILL looks over doubtfully. KEVIN grins innocently. WILL shrugs and skips ahead. "Lucy in the Sky" starts playing.
WILL
Ah, I love this song.
It skips into "Tubthumping." Kevin starts dancing again.
KEVIN
Yeah! Good one!
WILL
I'm going to throw this mix CD out the window!
KEVIN
The next one is different!
WILL skips ahead. "Tubthumping."
KEVIN
Well, it's different from that last one, I mean.
WILL skips ahead a few more. "Tubthumping" each time. He gets to an acapella version.
KEVIN
Oooh, acapella!
WILL
Don't act surprised! You made this CD!
KEVIN
I know, but I can't believe how good it sounds!
WILL
Couldn't you have at least put a FEW songs that I like on it!
KEVIN
Ok, you know what? The truth of the matter is that this is
the only CD that own. "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba is the only CD I own. And
that's because I am having a lot of financial pressures right now and can't
afford to buy a more complete music collection. Now I'm sorry, Mr. Snobby, if I
can't have a million CDs to make you a proper mix! But that's all I can offer!
They both look ahead.
WILL comes to a light and stops the car and looks at Kevin.
WILL
Look, you must have a Beatles CD because you had half of a
Beatles song on there.
They look at each other for a few minutes. Then KEVIN opens the door and runs away. WILL gets out.
WILL
Keviiiiiinnnnnn!