BAD ZOOM CINEMA

INT. OFFICE OR LAB

A SCIENTIST sits with a clipboard talking up to an official.

SCIENTIST

I've got bad news Senator. According to my tests, that wasn't just a tremor -- the earth's crust is being TORN APART!

While he speaks, the camera zooms, but too far and ends up out of focus on half of his face. There is still a dramatic music sting but it comes when we're already too far past his face to be actually dramatic.

INT. LIVING ROOM

A DRAMATIC WOMAN spins to face her lover.

DRAMATIC WOMAN

That's right, Haywood. I'm not just having an affair with your brother -- I'M GOING TO MARRY HIM.

The camera zooms towards her then up past her head to the background so her final words are off screen. There is a classic soap opera organ sting, but it's also too late to make this movement really dramatic.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM

An EXECUTIVE is standing, talking to seated businessmen.

EXECUTIVE

And that's why, I will be closing not just our main factory, I will be CLOSING ALL OF OUR FACTORIES -- EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!

The camera starts zooming but very early goes off course and ends up focusing on one of the people listening, who becomes aware of the camera and looks over his shoulder surprised. We still hear a music sting and here the shocked murmurs of the others reacting to the EXECUTIVE'S announcement.

INT. PRESS CONFERENCE

A SPOKESMAN is at a podium.

SPOKESMAN

And at 10 o'clock today, the president has disbanded congress and DECLARED MARTIAL LAW! The joints chiefs of staff have already been briefed. There will be NO MORE QUESTIONS!

Camera starts zooming, but turns 180 degrees around. We see the reporters standing there. One of them is eating a huge chocolate chip cookies, which the camera focuses on. We still here the music and shocked murmurs.

INT. OFFICE

A DISGRUNTLED WORKER talking to a friend.

WORKER

Except that I AM going to keep fighting, Phillips. You watch me. Because they may be able to fire me, but what they can't do is MAKE ME QUIT.

The camera zooms in way too fast and pushes in until it is pressed up against the WORKER'S face and he/she goes "ow."

EXT. STREET

A young DANCER is standing in the middle of the street some distance away from the camera.

DANCER

I'm gonna be somebody! You hear me, New York? I am gonna BE SOMEBODY! Yeah!

The camera starts to zoom then stops and merely moves so the dancer is off-center.

INT. DESK

A DEAN is speaking to a STUDENT.

DEAN

I'm happy to report that you've not only passed your exams, but passed them with HIGHEST HONORS!

The camera starts to zoom but turns to the side and sees a mirror, where we see the cameraman waving at himself.

INT. LOBBY

A group of ACTIVISTS are seated and making plans.

HEAD ACTIVIST

The times are changing, man. This isn't their government, it's ours. WE are gonna make a difference! WE are gonna take responsibility! And WE are gonna make this a BETTER WORLD!

The camera pans to the left where there's an office and zooms and pushes -- through the doorway, through the window -- the frame fills with white light. There's a cookie sitting in the whiteness.