OVERPROMISING COMMERCIAL

WILL HINES - 917 721 1138 / whines@gmail.com

SHOT PUSHES IN FROM BEHIND MAN OF WORKING AT A DESK. HE TURNS AROUND TO GREET THE CAMERA AND WALKS TOWARDS IT.

BUSINESSMAN

I'm a businessman, and that means late nights at the office. What I need is a product that gives me more time.

CUT TO A TEACHER AT A DESK.

TEACHER

You know, teaching kids takes a lot out of you. There's got to be a product out there that can give me more energy.

CUT TO A CONSTRUCTION GUY.

CONSTRUCTION GUY

Running a construction crew means staying on top of a lot of people. I need something to improve the way I communicate.

CUT TO AN ACCOUNTANT.

ACCOUNTANT

New tax laws? What is something that can give me the latest news?

CUT TO A MAYOR'S ASSISTANT.

MAYOR'S ASSISTANT

It's an honor to assist the mayor. But what can relieve my stress headaches?

CUT TO A FOOTBALL COACH.

COACH

I need a foolproof test to detect steroids.

CUT TO AN AIR CONDITIONER REPAIRMAN.

REPAIRMAN

Fixing air conditioners means I need help with my congestion!

CUT TO A GUY AT A COMPUTER.

UNEMPLOYED GUY

I sometimes need something to boost my self-esteem.

CUT TO A GUY AT A WINDOW.

WINDOW WASHER

It should cut grease.

CUT TO A MOM WITH KIDS.

MOM

And raise kids.

CUT TO A SCIENTIST.

SCIENTIST

And explore the cosmos.

VOICEOVER

What product can do all of this?

CUT TO A GREY-HAIRED OLDER MAN sitting in an easy chair addressing the camera.

OLDER MAN

Nothing! Why does it always have to be BUYING STUFF with you? What IS that? Get out of the house and take care of yourself for a change!  What, do I have to raise you forever? Christ!

He settles back in his chair.

CROSS-FADE TO a photo of a group of grey-haired men wearing buttoned-down collared shirts.

NARRATOR

This commercial paid for by everyone's fathers.