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TITLE CARD: THE HISTORY CHANNEL "RAW FOOTAGE"
Tonight, the History Channel shows uncut footage of great
events in history. Tonight, FDR's inauguration speech from 1933.
FDR is at a podium in 1933, finishing his first inaugural
As as we struggle to overcome this terrible economic
depression, let me assert once again my firm belief that the only thing we have
to fear is fear itself.
Tremendous applause. FDR waves to the crowd and starts to
step away. A PRODUCER steps to the side of the podium, making a "stretching"
But that's the end of my speech.
Just a few more minutes. The Texaco
Hour Orchestra is next, and the clarinet section is not ready.
So let me say again, of all the things that we COULD fear as
we fight this economic depression, the only one we really have to fear is fear
itself. Fear itself is the only thing we really must fear.
Less applause than last time but still strong. The PRODUCER
is still giving a "stretching" sign.
Ok, so, it's like this -- when I say "fear" -- what do you
think of? If it's not "fear itself" then you're wasting your time.
Much quieter applause. A voice goes "what?"
I don't have anything else to say!
We can't cut to dead air; you don't want to be associated
huge technical failure!
How about a hand for outgoing president Herbert Hoover?
He gave it a shot,
right? He was an engineer you know.
FDR claps. No one joins. He considers.
So, uh, who likes swing music?
A pause, then some people clap.
C'mon, I know you guys like swing music! Except how many
times can we hear "In The Mood?" Yeah, *I* was in
the mood too, until I heard his song for the millionth time.
A few laughs.
There we go! This
guy knows what I mean. Anyway, fear itself right? That's all we have to worry
about, who's with me? That and unemployment!
People are laughing a bit.
I'm kidding! I'm kidding! Just fear
itself. Get a load of this guy in the front row. I'm not going to say
he's fat, but if I could get him to sit in the Colorado River, I wouldn't need
to finish building the Hoover Dam!
Hey what was
prohibition, am I right? That was so stupid! It's like the stupidest amendment
ever, and one of them allowed
A few happily excited gasps and laughs.
C'mon, what -- we can't joke about slavery? You guys are so
serious! I feel like I'm telling Eleanor to wake up because I'm getting feeling
back in my legs!
What else, what else. Hey, you guys know that we're
all going to be in a World War soon, right? I'm working out a deal to
let them attack Hawaii so I can convince everyone to join in.
Big shocked reaction. Same guy shouts "What?"
Oh yeah. The Japs are crazier than the Nazis. Trust
me, you guys are gonna want to get in on that action. It'll be a bigger
thrill than if Dorothy Lamour lost her sarong!
Crows is getting upset. Someone shouts "war?"
Hey don't get upset. Okay, you want a distraction? Here's something cool -- photographs of a creature from outer space that crash landed in New Mexico...
FDR starts to go through his jacket pockets. PRODUCER gives a
thumbs up / "wrap it up" signals.
Whoops, that's it for me, folks!
I'm gonna turn it over to the TEXACO ORCHESTRA!
Now that's a speech people will remember!
FREEZE FRAME on FDR.
FDR was president for the next fifty years.
TITLE SCREEN: The History Channel's "RAW FOOTAGE."