A DETECTIVE in a trench coat is in a living room with a
beautiful GIRL, an OLDER MAN in a suit, and an overweight BALD MAN holding a
statue of a bird.
So that's it, dollface. You killed your sister to try and get
the statue of the bird. Your father found out and tried Mr. Pennington here to
protect you. The bird was stolen from the Egyptian government -- they're
sending an ambassador over to pick it up.
Well it looks like you've got it all figured out Marlowe. I
guess I'll be in the big house soon. And I guess this case is closed.
One more thing: I have a bill for nine days of
detective work at $25 per - $225 total. How do you want to pay for
What are you talking about, you're sending me to jail!
Sure, but you hired me. You walked into my office 9
days ago, with the kind of legs that start at the floor and keep on
running up till they've filled the brain of every man within ten
Stop that. I was just trying to create evidence that I
couldn't have killed my sister.
I still worked for nine days. How about you, pops?
Are you asking me to pay your bill?
You encouraged me to keep investigating when I was going to
quit a few days ago. That's sort of a verbal contract. That
kind of contract a man like you should respect -- business man who
worked his way up from nothing into a the velvet curtained-rooms of
Cut that out. Look, I'm not paying you. I'm likely going to
jail and I never wanted any of this investigated.
Yes, and I'm not paying you -- you've taken away my falcon
statue -- my only valuable possession! I have no money!
Look, someone's gotta pay me, right? You all saw me working.
I'm not paying anything! You know really, since my
other daughter is dead -- there's no one that your detective work is
really helping. You've implicated everyone involved in the case!
How about justice? Can't we say I'm working for the justice
of the murder of poor Sally Herman?
Yes, you could say that. But she didn't hire you from beyond
the grave and she certainly couldn't pay you.
Yeah, you're a real pain in the ass!
Everyone of us is worse off -- WAY worse!
Okay! Okay! Could someone just cover my gas? Jesus, I hate
You should have just used my car! You spend like a crazy
All right, don't micro-manage me! I was on the trail of a
murderer, I wasn't watching the receipts!
You don't have receipts? What are supposed to take your word
about your expenses?
I wish I never hired you! It's the biggest regret of my life, and I killed my sister!
Okay, look! Could someone at least write up a testimonial I
could use for advertising purposes?
They all settle down and start writing.