IS THIS A DATE?
A WOMAN sits in a chair. Her hands are in front of her, tied.
A LARGE MAN stands next to her.
MAN
Your government still hasn't responded to our demands, but
the leader is arranging to get a more comfortable cot for you.
WOMAN
Fine.
MAN
Are you hungry? Are those ropes too tight?
WOMAN
I'm fine. I just want to go home.
MAN
I'm sure it'll happen. Look, I was talking to the other
guards, and I have to ask a dumb question.
WOMAN
Go ahead.
MAN
Is this a date?
WOMAN
What?!
MAN
It is, right? The other guards tell me I'm full of it, but
I'm like...
WOMAN
It is NOT a date! Dear lord, I'm a political prisoner! Your
boss is holding me hostage until the American government agrees to send an
ambassador to meet with him! It is most certainly NOT a date!
MAN
Wow. I... Man, I was reading this wrong.
WOMAN
How can it be a date? I'm held here against my will!
MAN
The vibe felt date-ish to me, I guess. I bring you dinner, I
bring you gifts.
WOMAN
Well, you FEED me, yes. But you have to -- I'm your
organization's captive! That's not the same as dinner! And what gifts?
MAN
Those magazines you wanted! I got you The Economist and that
weird one with the drawings and small type...
WOMAN
The Believer.
MAN
Yeah! That wasn't easy to find! We're in Bosnia!
WOMAN
I didn't realize you had thought of those as gifts. Thank you
for that. You have been very kind to me and I appreciate it.
MAN
You're welcome.
WOMAN
But it's NO DATE! I am a CAPTIVE!
MAN
What about our little game of you closing your eyes when I
enter and exit the room?
WOMAN
I was doing that because I thought I HAD to! You asked me to
and I thought you didn't want me to, I don't know, figure out where I'm being
held?
MAN
No! That was our little GAME! You are so INSENSITIVE!
WOMAN
I'm sorry! How could I know that?
MAN
It's ironic that someone as smart as you -- a JOURNALIST --
whose job it is to observe -- can be so BLIND!
MAN starts tearing up.
WOMAN
Are you crying?
MAN
No, I was stupid. Why would you like me? You're ivy educated,
and I went to high school on the internet. I barely read and when I do it's
stupid stuff like Tom Clancy.
WOMAN
And I'm your captive! That's far more of a problem then our
education. Wait, you read Tom Clancy?
MAN
Guilty pleasure. God, you are a BITCH! No, I'm sorry... I
don't mean that...
WOMAn
Look, I recognize that you're making sure I'm comfortable.
And I don't feel like you or anyone is going to hurt me while I'm captive.
MAN
After you're freed, could I... call you?
WOMAN
NO!
MAN
Right, right.
WOMAN
I'm... sorry?
MAN
Okay. I'm over it. Forget I said anything. I'll be back tomorrow. You don't need to close your eyes when I leave.
MAN leaves. After a short beat, he returns.
MAN
I burned you this CD.
WOMAN
Just keep it.
BLACKOUT