IS THIS A DATE?

A WOMAN sits in a chair. Her hands are in front of her, tied. A LARGE MAN stands next to her.

MAN

Your government still hasn't responded to our demands, but the leader is arranging to get a more comfortable cot for you.

WOMAN

Fine.

MAN

Are you hungry? Are those ropes too tight?

WOMAN

I'm fine. I just want to go home.

MAN

I'm sure it'll happen. Look, I was talking to the other guards, and I have to ask a dumb question.

WOMAN

Go ahead.

MAN

Is this a date?

WOMAN

What?!

MAN

It is, right? The other guards tell me I'm full of it, but I'm like...

WOMAN

It is NOT a date! Dear lord, I'm a political prisoner! Your boss is holding me hostage until the American government agrees to send an ambassador to meet with him! It is most certainly NOT a date!

MAN

Wow. I... Man, I was reading this wrong.

WOMAN

How can it be a date? I'm held here against my will!

MAN

The vibe felt date-ish to me, I guess. I bring you dinner, I bring you gifts.

WOMAN

Well, you FEED me, yes. But you have to -- I'm your organization's captive! That's not the same as dinner! And what gifts?

MAN

Those magazines you wanted! I got you The Economist and that weird one with the drawings and small type...

WOMAN

The Believer.

MAN

Yeah! That wasn't easy to find! We're in Bosnia!

WOMAN

I didn't realize you had thought of those as gifts. Thank you for that. You have been very kind to me and I appreciate it.

MAN

You're welcome.

WOMAN

But it's NO DATE! I am a CAPTIVE!

MAN

What about our little game of you closing your eyes when I enter and exit the room?

WOMAN

I was doing that because I thought I HAD to! You asked me to and I thought you didn't want me to, I don't know, figure out where I'm being held?

MAN

No! That was our little GAME! You are so INSENSITIVE!

WOMAN

I'm sorry! How could I know that?

MAN

It's ironic that someone as smart as you -- a JOURNALIST -- whose job it is to observe -- can be so BLIND!

MAN starts tearing up.

WOMAN

Are you crying?

MAN

No, I was stupid. Why would you like me? You're ivy educated, and I went to high school on the internet. I barely read and when I do it's stupid stuff like Tom Clancy.

WOMAN

And I'm your captive! That's far more of a problem then our education. Wait, you read Tom Clancy?

MAN

Guilty pleasure. God, you are a BITCH! No, I'm sorry... I don't mean that...

WOMAn

Look, I recognize that you're making sure I'm comfortable. And I don't feel like you or anyone is going to hurt me while I'm captive.

MAN

After you're freed, could I... call you?

WOMAN

NO!

MAN

Right, right.

WOMAN

I'm... sorry?

MAN

Okay. I'm over it. Forget I said anything. I'll be back tomorrow. You don't need to close your eyes when I leave.

MAN leaves. After a short beat, he returns.

MAN

I burned you this CD.

WOMAN

Just keep it.

BLACKOUT