"NO SPOILERS" TIME TRAVEL
ALAN and BOB are wearing lab coats. A refrigerator-sized BOX
is on stage.
SFX: TIME TRAVEL SOUNDS!
CHARLES bursts out of the box, wearing a tin foil suit.
Guys, it works! TIME TRAVEL WORKS! I was in the future!
ALAN and BOB cheer!
ALAN and BOB
Yeah! All right!
I only went a month forward to check, but I was definitely in
the future! I was at the World Series!
ALAN covers his ears.
det det det det det! Don't tell me who was in the World
Series! I want to be surprised!
Come on, it's going to be the Yankees!
You don't know that!
Okay! I won't say who was playing... Well, I kind of HAVE to
say where I was. I was in New York.
Damn it, Charles!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But the point is I traveled through
space AND time. I WAS IN NEW YORK IN THE FUTURE! I took the train into Times
Near the movie theaters?
Uh, yeah, I guess.
DON'T TELL ME HOW THE INFORMANT IS DOING!
The Soderberg movie?
Yeah, Alan and I have a pool over what will be the
top-grossing art slash mainstream hit of October.
And I am going to WIN THAT BET! "Precious" is going to rock!
Who cares? I WAS IN THE FUTURE! Look, I bought a copy of the
paper to show you the date!
DON'T SHOW IT TO ME! I can see there's a story on the yields
of wheat crops in India! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
About the yields of wheat crops?
We're studying them! If we know the results we'll be biased
about how we observe the results, Charles!
You should know that Charles, you're a scientist!
Look, guys I NEED to be able to tell you what happened on my
trip wihtout worrying about "ruining" things for you!
Okay, you're right.
What happened after you bought the newspaper
LINCOLN, HITLER, CAVEMAN and a GREEN ALIEN WITH HELMET exit
Shit got weird.