TERI GARR HAS BEEN SHOT INTO SPACE
We see footage of a space shuttle launching.
CUT TO: Inside the cockpit. TERI GARR is there. She's talking
on the radio.
Hello? Is anyone there? This is Teri Garr. I've accidentally
shot myself into space.
Hello? Hello? Who is this? HOW DID YOU STEAL THE SPACE
Oh good heavens, calm DOWN! Everything is fine -- no one
STOLE anything. This Teri Garr, you know, the actress? I just accidentally
launched it when I was on a tour. Don't say I STOLE. That's rude.
What tour? There are no tours of the space shuttle!
I sort of gave myself one. I just has someone drive me up to
Cape Canaveral, and I climbed the ladder. I just wanted to poke around and now
there's all this happening.
By "all this happening" you mean you launching yourself into
Well, yeah. It's funny, I was nosing around this, um..
Yes, cockpit. Wow, that's a weird name. Anyway, I just
totally fell on my fanny (laughs) and the thing launched. Isn't that strange?
Do you ever say fanny? Do you know what I mean by that?
"Fanny" to mean "rear end?" Yes, sometimes.
In Britain, it means something much more dirty, you know.
I've heard that. Miss Garr, you are in real trouble. I'm not
sure how we can get you back safely.
Oh fine, don't worry about it. I'll get it back somehow.
Don't get your pants in a bunch.
You can't just "get it back" -- you'd have to land it! It's a
very difficult procedure.
I know -- I've really stepped in it this time. Oh boy.
Okay, well, you know I'll just land it. Where should I bring it? Florida?
Sure, Florida. Wait -- you don't know how to land. Er, do you?
Well, I've never done it of course. But I'm pretty
mechanical. People don't assume that about me but I am. I'm very capable. I was
in a movie with Elvis.
Yes, I knew that. I'm a big fan of yours, actually.
How sweet! Thank you for saying that.
You're welcome. I loved you in Young Frankenstein, of course.
And Tootsie. But I love you in all your movies. Mr. Mom, and Close Encounters
of the Third Kind. I even got the DVDs of the episodes of Friends where you
Okay, I landed it.
SHOT of exterior of SPACE SHUTTLE. It's landed safely on a
Yeah, I landed it. It's very hard, you were right! Okay,
could you send someone over here to pick me up? I don't want to walk back.
Uh, okay. Wow, Miss Garr you really are amazing!
TERI GARR and the guy from MISSION CONTROL become friends for
a while, exchanging email and Facebook messages. But after six months they run
out of things to say and they stop contacting each other. The guy from MISSION
CONTROL had fantasies about having an affair with TERI GARR but that was never
on her mind. She's famous and meets people all the time; it's hard to really
rivet her attention.