BUSTING THE WRONG SCAM
A CON MAN is running a cup and balls trick on a table.
CON MAN
Step right up folks $50 if you can guess which cup the ball
ends up under.
A COP walks up.
COP
All right mister, I've got you. You're running a scam here.
CON MAN
Yeah? What's your proof?
COP
You're wearing a toupee.
CON MAN
So?
COP
That's the scam. You're trying to fool people that you still
have your hair.
CON MAN
How is that illegal?
COP
It's a lie. You convince people you still have hair, they
regard you more favorably and respect you more -- you start getting more
favorable treatment -- based on your lie. Let's go, you're under arrest.
CON MAN
Aren't you worried about my cup and balls racket?
COP
Let's see. Nope, this looks okay. Now hand over that toupee
as evidence.
CON MAN
Don't arrest me for my toupee. I'll be honest: it's this cup
and balls racket that's illegal.
COP
Looks okay to me.
CON MAN
How about that I call it a "racket."
COP
I assume you're being ironic in an endearing way. These cups
feel real, so does this ball.
CON MAN
I use sleight of hand to move the ball into my palm so that
it's not under ANY of the cups.
COP
But you do that while the customer is watching?
CON MAN
Yes sir.
COP
Seems fair to me. Now about this toupee con you've got
running...
CON MAN
That's not a con! I've never hidden that I wear a toupee!
COP
That's even more disgusting. That's like someone wearing shoe
lifts and admitting it, or wearing a thick sweaters.
CON MAN
Thick sweaters?
COP
People trying to hide their guts. Okay, move it along.
CON MAN
Look, don't arrest me for this! Here's this cup and balls
table has a tiny trap door where I can drop the ball through! There's no way to
win!
COP
Still seems fairs to me. If people don't notice that trap
door that's on them.
CON MAN
Well if you're going to arrest me I should tell you I've also
had plastic surgery, I changed my name from Mykol to Michael and I usually wear
some makeup on a scar I have on my cheek.
COP
You're an animal. But I will pass on to the judge that you
admitted all this. He might go easy.
CON MAN
Thank you. One more thing. I'm a ghost.
The COP is suddenly standing alone.
COP
The world looks different
to me now.