BUSTING THE WRONG SCAM

A CON MAN is running a cup and balls trick on a table.

CON MAN

Step right up folks $50 if you can guess which cup the ball ends up under.

A COP walks up.

COP

All right mister, I've got you. You're running a scam here.

CON MAN

Yeah? What's your proof?

COP

You're wearing a toupee.

CON MAN

So?

COP

That's the scam. You're trying to fool people that you still have your hair.

CON MAN

How is that illegal?

COP

It's a lie. You convince people you still have hair, they regard you more favorably and respect you more -- you start getting more favorable treatment -- based on your lie. Let's go, you're under arrest.

CON MAN

Aren't you worried about my cup and balls racket?

COP

Let's see. Nope, this looks okay. Now hand over that toupee as evidence.

CON MAN

Don't arrest me for my toupee. I'll be honest: it's this cup and balls racket that's illegal.

COP

Looks okay to me.

CON MAN

How about that I call it a "racket."

COP

I assume you're being ironic in an endearing way. These cups feel real, so does this ball.

CON MAN

I use sleight of hand to move the ball into my palm so that it's not under ANY of the cups.

COP

But you do that while the customer is watching?

CON MAN

Yes sir.

COP

Seems fair to me. Now about this toupee con you've got running...

CON MAN

That's not a con! I've never hidden that I wear a toupee!

COP

That's even more disgusting. That's like someone wearing shoe lifts and admitting it, or wearing a thick sweaters.

CON MAN

Thick sweaters?

COP

People trying to hide their guts. Okay, move it along.

CON MAN

Look, don't arrest me for this! Here's this cup and balls table has a tiny trap door where I can drop the ball through! There's no way to win!

COP

Still seems fairs to me. If people don't notice that trap door that's on them.

CON MAN

Well if you're going to arrest me I should tell you I've also had plastic surgery, I changed my name from Mykol to Michael and I usually wear some makeup on a scar I have on my cheek.

COP

You're an animal. But I will pass on to the judge that you admitted all this. He might go easy.

CON MAN

Thank you.  One more thing. I'm a ghost.

The COP is suddenly standing alone.

COP

The world looks different to me now.