BRAGGING ABOUT RUNNING

WILL speaks with SARAH in a workplace lunchroom.

WILL

Hey, I went running, for like 2 miles.

SARAH

Why do you tell me how far you went running? Why should I care?

WILL

Good questions. I guess I'm insecure about my exercise habits and if I talk about what I've done I feel like I'll keep doing them.

I know YOU exercise and on some level I think I'm competitive with you and trying to beat you by talking about my running.

Also, I think if I brag about what I've done, I'll do more in the future.

I'm filled with insecurity that my accomplishments don't exist unless I brag.

Also I envision myself in the future as a perfect version of myself, and this is the beginning of me becoming that. Run 2 miles today, 5 miles tomorrow, perfect physical condition in one year. I'll introduce a self-education program to sharpen my mind to a perfect intellectual state. Spiritually, I'll apprentice with a Tibetan monk and find deep, true inner peace. In the end I'll be a demigod of human perfection, walking through this world a sinewy muscular mass of intelligent soulful awesomeness. I will achieve an inner power great enough to devour whole worlds.

I WILL DEVOUR WORLDS.

WILL bits into his tuna sandwich.

SARAH

Oh!