GRUMPY
ELAINE and WILL are at a table, broadcasting an offscreen basketball game.
OPENING TITLE: BASKETBALL GAME
WILL
Watch out! Smith is dribbling down the court, and he looks GRUMPY!
ELAINE
Yer darn right -- he looks out and out PEEVED!
WILL
His DANDER is way up, brother!
ELAINE
But defending him is Jones, and oh boy -- he looks FUSSY tonight!
WILL
REAL fussy! One might say IRKED!
ELAINE
You better watch out, folks, these guys look TESTY!
WILL
Sanders' ball-handling is down right QUAINT!
ELAINE
Darn right but watch out for Henderson, he's playing like
he's got a real CRAMP IN HIS REAR!
WILL
Here comes Smith -- positively CHURLISH!
ELAINE
And Jones is PRICKLY!
WILL
I'd say the home is straight-up IRASCIBLE!
ELAINE
Especially, Sanders who is TOUCHYYYYYYYYY!
WILL
How about Henderson? Are you gonna tell me he isn't CROSS?
ELAINE
SNAPPISH!
WILL
CRABBY!
ELAINE
VERY crabby!
WILL
A bunch of GRUMPS!
ELAINE
GRUMPY-PUMPS!
WILL
GRUMPA-SAURAUS!
ELAINE
Yep! Better send 'em to Grump-assic Park!
WILL
GRUMPtown races here we come!
ELAINE
These guys look like members of the Grump-ited Nations!
WILL
People's Republic of GRUMPY!
ELAINE
Things that go GRUMP in the night!
WILL
Slow your car, speed GRUMPS ahead! These guys are grumps!
ELAINE
They REALLY are!
WILL
Game is over.
ELAINE
Okay.
WILL and ELAINE slouch away.