GRUMPY

ELAINE and WILL are at a table, broadcasting an offscreen basketball game.

OPENING TITLE: BASKETBALL GAME

WILL

Watch out! Smith is dribbling down the court, and he looks GRUMPY!

ELAINE

Yer darn right -- he looks out and out PEEVED!

WILL

His DANDER is way up, brother!

ELAINE

But defending him is Jones, and oh boy -- he looks FUSSY tonight!

WILL

REAL fussy! One might say IRKED!

ELAINE

You better watch out, folks, these guys look TESTY!

WILL

Sanders' ball-handling is down right QUAINT!

ELAINE

Darn right but watch out for Henderson, he's playing like he's got a real CRAMP IN HIS REAR!

WILL

Here comes Smith -- positively CHURLISH!

ELAINE

And Jones is PRICKLY!

WILL

I'd say the home is straight-up IRASCIBLE!

ELAINE

Especially, Sanders who is TOUCHYYYYYYYYY!

WILL

How about Henderson? Are you gonna tell me he isn't CROSS?

ELAINE

SNAPPISH!

WILL

CRABBY!

ELAINE

VERY crabby!

WILL

A bunch of GRUMPS!

ELAINE

GRUMPY-PUMPS!

WILL

GRUMPA-SAURAUS!

ELAINE

Yep! Better send 'em to Grump-assic Park!

WILL

GRUMPtown races here we come!

ELAINE

These guys look like members of the Grump-ited Nations!

WILL

People's Republic of GRUMPY!

ELAINE

Things that go GRUMP in the night!

WILL

Slow your car, speed GRUMPS ahead! These guys are grumps!

ELAINE

They REALLY are!

WILL

Game is over.

ELAINE

Okay.

WILL and ELAINE slouch away.