SHAKESPEARE'S SOUND EFFECTS PLAYS

A PROFESSOR stands in front of a lecture hall full of students.

PROFESSOR

Class, we've finished with Shakespeares' comedies, his tragedies and his history plays. Today we turn toward his brief period writing sound-effect plays.

We'll start with Pleidopus, Prince of Squiiiiiirrrt!

And then we'll move on to The Forest of Paaaaa-teeeeeeng!

And then Isadora, the Ka-Pweet of Sch-bonnnng!

Of course, we won't forget Ba-Bing, So Many Wahpoh-pee-pohs!

And Dum-Dum the Tenth, Part Skweedle.

And then finally, The Squirrrrrrrts of Pffffffffhhht.

A STUDENT raises his hand.

STUDENT

I have taken too much Shakespeare.