YOU LIKE ALL THE SONGS
ELAINE, a RECEPTIONIST is at a desk. Her co-worker CHAD
approaches.
CHAD
Hey, Elaine, could I have my paycheck?
ELAINE shuffled around the desk and then finds it.
ELAINE
Uh yes, yes... Here it is. Uh, did you see Alphas last night?
CHAD
I did, actually. Yeah.
ELAINE
What'd you think of it?
CHAD
It was okay, I guess. I liked last week better.
ELAINE retracts the paycheck so it's visible but out of reach.
ELAINE
Oh no. No. No you like all the episodes.
CHAD
(confused)
No.... No.I thought it was just okay.
ELAINE
No. It's your favorite show.
She clears her throat, taps his paycheck on the desk in front
of her.
CHAD
(resignedly)
Ok. I like all the episodes of Alphas.
ELAINE
What do you think of this song that's playing?
You can hear "Still The One" playing from ELAINE'S laptop.
CHAD
This Shania Twain song? I don't like it.
ELAINE
No! You love this song. It's your favorite song.
CHAD
Okay. I love this song.
ELAINE
And the album? What do you think of the album?
CHAD
I don't know any Shania Twain albums.
ELAINE
But this one's your favorite.
CHAD
(considers, then agrees)
Yes, this is my favorite Shania Twain album.
ELAINE
What's your favorite song on this Shania Twain album?
CHAD
This one is.
ELAINE
No! You like all the songs.. (slaps paycheck against desk)
equally!
CHAD
Okay, fine. I do. Could I have my paycheck please?
ELAINE
Yeah, sure! (she does not give it over) What's your favorite
inert gas?
CHAD
I don't know.
ELAINE
(as if this was obvious)
Argon.
CHAD
Okay.
ELAINE
Say it.
CHAD
Argon. (realizes she wants more) Argon is my...
ELAINE
Favorite!
CHAD
...favorite inert gas.
ELAINE
Will you say that altogether?
CHAD
Argon is my favorite inert gas.
ELAINE
Okay good.
CHAD stares at ELAINE in frustration.
ELAINE
What... do... you think of me?
CHAD
I'm sorry?
ELAINE
Like your opinion of me. What's your opinion of me?
CHAD
(through gritted teeth)
You're my favorite person.
ELAINE waves him on with the paycheck -- she wants more.
CHAD
...of ALL people. You're my favorite person of all people.
ELAINE
Will you say my name?
CHAD
Elaine Rogers is my favorite person...
ELAINE
Margaret is my middle name, could you say that?
CHAD
Elaine Margaret Rogers is my favorite person of all people.
ELAINE
Yes. Good.
ELAINE hands CHAD the paycheck.
CHAD
I'm sorry I never called you.
ELAINE
I know.
(OUT)