UNAMBITIUOS KNIGHTS TEMPLAR

An EXPLORER rounds a dark tunnel in a cave. He comes up a KNIGHT TEMPLAR, who stands next to a bright ruby balanced nicely on a metal stand.

EXPLORER

A Knight Templar!

KNIGHT

Indeed! It is my charge to guard the sacred treasure of this cave, and to never leave its side!

EXPLORER

As the legends descibe!

KNIGHT

Yes! I have been here guarding this treasure for over... two years!

EXPLORER

Just two?

KNIGHT

Yes, it was two years ago that he angel Gabriel summoned me to this cave to guard this treasure! Two long years!

EXPLORER

It's not very long.

KNIGHT

Hey, it's a while! Ever just stepped out of your life for two years?

EXPLORER

I did the Peace Corps.

KNIGHT

Oh, yeah, so like that.

EXPLORER

What were doing when the angel Gabriel found you?

KNIGHT

I was doing some IT for an event manager. We booked convention space, you know.

EXPLORER

Sounds great. Well, let's have the treasure.

KNIGHT

Yes, brave warrior! This treasure is yours! It is worth almost... TWENTY thousand dollars!

EXPLORER

That's it?!

KNIGHT

Oh, you're going to sneeze at twenty thousand dollars? What do you pull down, like ...

EXPLORER

Like fifty thousand dollars.

KNIGHT

Yeah, but in a YEAR! This is one fell swoop!

EXPLORER

It's nice, I guess.

KNIGHT

Thank you! I have a question. Whatever happened on Lost? I was wrapped up in that show.

EXPLORER

Ugh. Look, keep the necklace!

KNIGHT

No! Then I have to stay! I have to get back! My neighbor is feeding my cats!

That's it.